Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't? Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you? I know I have plenty of times. 9 times out of 10 its anxiety. It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion. With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety." I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety. My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.
This technique is simple. You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.
So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:
Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs. This is a safe space for you to come up. I am sorry I have always pushed you down. It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing. My beliefs about pain are changing. I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say. You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
When I meditate about the relationship that I want. I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over. It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly. Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me? Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too. When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died. I am here to protect you. What if I found a relationship that didn’t end? That is not true all things end. What if things transformed rather than ended? That is ok. Alright. So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok. Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed. That is ok. You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore. I will listen to you when you come up. I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires. Ok, I appreciate that.
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing. My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
What a turning point for me! I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like. If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less. Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.
Hello Shoot for the stars goal setters, "I'll never get there types" and everyone in between;
What are your goals right now? Comment or post below!
And what is your reward for achieving that goal? You might say, the reward is that I won't have that debt anymore. Or It's so far away, why do I need a reward; Rewards are childish, I'm an adult. Or maybe even, it'll never happens, so what's the point?
All of these examples are typical and reasonable responses when I ask my friends and family about their goals, and then the reward... For some reasons its easy for people to say their goals, most of the times its obvious, like wanting to pay off all of your debt. But then when I ask about the reward. I have to painstakingly extract it out of them.
Personally I've always loved setting goals, but never gave much thought to a reward, or that I should or even deserved a reward. After just achieving a GIANT financial goal, I can tell you a reward is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. It was Frank Bettger's book, "How I Raised myself from Failure to Success in Selling" that introduced the concept of having a reward when achieving your goals. I decided to try the concept on, while I was saying "Paying off the debt I owed my mom would be more than enough" I decided that my reward would be a head to toe brand new outfit of the season, not to exceed $1,000. So I saved, along with paying off my mom. This goal seemed so far away I didn't think I'd be able to do it anytime soon. But I remembered in the book, he says the reward is almost more important than the goal. So I kept saving, and didn't touch than money. I kept chipping away and the debt, sometimes only $5 at a time.
From when I decided to get serious about paying off the debt, it took less than a year. I though for sure, it would take much longer than that, I was thinking two or three years. I just couldn't see the end in sight, and sometimes I got tired of being so tight with my finances. But I never gave it. I paid a minimum of 1% of every paycheck as additional payment towards what I owed, and continued with all of my normal bills and savings. And then the day came! May 1, 2017. I was doing my monthly financial stats, and I realized I had the money. I froze, I agonized, I went back and forth. Then I paid off the last $2,000 from my savings (this is a large amount for me), and then I sat in awe and shock with a perma-grin approaching midnight for about 20 minutes. HOLLY $Cow$!!! I did it, it seemed so far away, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I am shopping for my head to toe outfit. And it feels amazing, each time I walk into a store, I breath in my accomplishment, and relish in that feeling of deserving, that I deserve to shop and find my perfect outfit, I deserve to be in these beautiful stores, that I used to never enter. I know it sounds trivial, but I have to agree with Mr. Bettger, the reward is just as important as the goal. Because its living in that space of "deserving." Deserving is a weird concept for most of us. We were trained to do what we "should" do. We are trained not to indulge; and while excessive indulging can get in the way of what you truly want, I think that we as a society have taken this questioning our deserving a little too far - often we feel shame, or bad about enjoying. Deserving doesn't mean taking, but it does mean to relish in the love, freedom, abundance, or goodness that you want. Further more the reward anchors in your accomplishment. I can see within myself I am now ready and more excited to take on bigger goals. I have more faith in myself. And now when I set rewards for my goals, even if they are small, I noticed that I work faster.
So what are your goals? Go ahead make it big. Make it so big you don't even understand how it will happen :)
And then... Pick your reward :) Make it a BIG REWARD.
And then one reward at a time your life is transformed,
Much love <3
Hello Vegan Gluten Free Enthusiasts!
I'd like to share a super easy and healthy meal to cook in about 20 minutes.
All you need is
Mushrooms, Broccolini, Leeks, & Garlic (because I can't eat without garlic!)
The quantity depends on how many people will eat and how much each one eats, personally I always have to cook for two because I eat that much!
For cooking rice, I cook it the Brazilian way, so I add the quantity of rice, garlic and olive oil fry it a little then add the water. When cooking rice always add double the amount of water to rice. So for example one cup of rice, two cups of water. Once you've added the water, as soon as it boils, turn down the heat to a low simmer (for those of you that have an electric stove, about a "2" is good). When there is no more water, but the rice isn't burnt yet, its ready. And don't worry if you burn the pan, for my first ten years of cooking I would burn the rice every time. To clean it, you just let the pan soak.
Delicious Alternative: For the rice, I used half water, and half vegetable broth & white wine. Try it :)
Then I cooked the mushrooms and garlic in a pan first (these two take a bit longer to cook, and not as delicious on the raw side)... A minute or two before the rice was ready I added the chopped up broccolini and leeks. I like my veges on the crunchy side, so really I'm just heating them up. Season to taste. Since I already had an Italian theme going I used the "Everyday Seasoning" from Trader Joe's.
Bonus: this meal should cost under $5.
Hello incredible human beings!
Could you imagine what your life would be like if you were the healthiest, most vibrant, full of life version of yourself everyday?
Have you ever stopped to think about how incredible your body is? The human body is a magical work of design. Our body takes care of all these things and we don't even have to think about how it works! It regenerates, it fights diseases to make us better, it has cravings to get you the right nutrients, it eliminates toxins in a variety of ways. Our human bodies are truly incredible eco systems!
Today I am organizing my files - which I use binders to keep all of my papers organized. I just finished organizing the "Health" binder, and felt inspired to write this article. As you know I'm pretty keen on manifesting, so I wrote about health and what I want for my health. I'll write about what I want for each binder/subject, but I wanted to share my health vision with you, as I'm sure many people want the same.
I am healthy, I am full of energy!
I am healthy, I am vibrant!
I am healthy, I continuously expand my physical and mental capacity.
I am blissed out! Happiness is my norm.
I am continuously growing younger; regenerating into a better version of myself each day.
I completely and utterly love myself.
I am healthy, I enjoy all of my physical capabilities.
I am healthy, I am the example of what life is.
I am healthy! I am life!
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!