Gratitude for Something Bad

Hello friends,

I have not posted in a while.  I think out of self judgement.  When I write these articles I get so wrapped up in them, that often I end up not "starting" my day until noon or 1 pm.  And so none of the ideas I was having was "good enough" to "waste" that much time.  But I just had a gratitude epiphany, and want to share it.  

About two weeks ago, I was exposed to some toxic fumes.  I was at work, the area smelled bad, but I over looked it because we were in a rush.  Until I was told to get off.  About 10 minutes later I began to not feel that great, but I don't like complaining so I was not very loud about what I was experiencing.  Later we get checked out my doctors and the doctors completely blow off the seriousness and sign me off as good to work again.  During that week, I learn a little more, what all the potential side effects of this toxic exposure can cause, and I am terrified.  Since that exposure, I had been doing every detox thing I can think of or that anybody I trust suggested.  Thankfully my symptoms have gotten improved a little each day, and now I believe I will be OK.  BUT because of this scare I have really been prioritizing my rest and health.  I have not been pushing myself, and then just now as I was enjoying taking 30 minutes to cook my breakfast, and enjoy my tea, I realized that up until now it was never OK to rest, it caused anxiety that I was "wasting" time. 

Now I am grateful for this exposure because it gave me permission to slow down, to sit here cuddled up with a warm blanket and a body pillow that makes me feel like I'm a child surrounded by all my lovies (stuffed animals).  And I am truly enjoying it.  I enjoy the comfort, I enjoy feeling like a child, that is being hugged by my lovies.

Relaxing is so important, we all "know" that - but I'm betting that there are more people similar to me than not - when you "do nothing" you are wasting time which could also be costly, if you're a time is money person.  Because of this very scary thing, I took relaxing seriously, and now I do see the benefits.  I am happier, I feel heard (because I'm listening to myself) and I feel love because I am allowing myself to feel like a child, and I'm seeing great creative solution, of which I have implemented.  In my external world I met a guy that is so similar to me its funny, my finances are improving simply because I'm not spending as much money, my health is improving because I'm taking the time to cook and eat more vegetables, I feel the support from my supervisors who have taken what happened seriously, and I just feel more loved.  Now I feel grateful that this happened.

I needed this bad and very scary thing to happen to me to give myself permission to rest.  I needed to learn that its OK to do nothing, and just hug a pillow, otherwise I would probably have worn myself into the ground by not letting up.

Before you need something bad to happen to learn a lesson like I did, what can you do today to scale back a bit?  Would that be to meditate, would it be to not answer e-mails after 4 pm?  Maybe you too will pile pillows on your couch and snuggle up with a blanket and a good book, or a journal?  I don't believe tv, social media, or surfing the internet is truly relaxing, because your mind is still doing something, and there is still a sense of achievement that is sought out, especially when surfing the internet, so just let the electronics stay off for a bit.  Maybe you even start a thing at home where one night a week all electronics are turned off?  Maybe you will let someone cook dinner or let a friend pick up the kids?  Whatever it may be, pick something today even if its just 5 minutes that takes something off your plate, makes your life a bit easier; or just put everything on hold so you can do nothing.  You are WAY more important than all of these other things that you "need" to do.  So start practicing that today <3

Sending cuddles, Jessica