Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
I wish you all the best year yet, full of dreams and wishes come true, abundance, happiness, and health. For some reason I am just so excited for this year! I'm not exactly sure why, but I am enjoying this excitement. Typically most of us set a new years resolution which is great, but this year I am going to suggest something a little different.
Instead of setting a new years resolution, which often revolves around giving up something, I am going to suggest tweaking, replacing, creating and adding things. I promise these tiny shifts will create big changes in your life, because it has for me. Maybe you won't see any results right away, but one day you'll notice, "wow, I'm a lot happier, healthier or better off financially than before!"
1. Create a playlist of songs you absolutely love AND the lyrics are uplifting/have a positive message. I have this playlist on youtube, when I hear a song that matches both of these criteria I add it to my playlist, all of my songs are uplifting with a positive message, about winning, lasting love, encouragement, or just plain being happy. "I can't stop the feeling" by Justin Timberlake is the epitome of what I mean. Thank you so much for creating such an incredible song!
2. Rock out to these songs! Who cares if you are a bad dancer, if you drove past me today you would have saw this crazy chick completely rocking out to her incredible playlist!!!!
3. Meditate. 5 minutes and hour... It doesn't matter, just do it. There are youtube videos for those of you that think there is supposed to be a certain way to do it. All else fails just sit down, set a timer and close your eyes. There is no wrong way, its ok if your mind won't stop racing. There are hundreds of approaches to meditating, try all of them and see which one suits you!
4. Learn something new. Try a new recipe, implement something interesting from a book, follow a youtube tutorial that you like, or ask a friend or family member to teach you something you think they are really good at. Talk about an incredible compliment!
5. Try eating Vegan or Gluten Free one day a week. Both have excellent health benefits. I am Vegan Gluten Free, my transition was very slow, see my article about becoming gluten free under the "Wellness" category. Eating Vegan will definitely save you money, at the very least a couple dollars on your meal if you go out to eat. So try it out, just one day a week.
6. Spend more time outside. How ever it suits you, the outdoors has so many incredible benefits. Not to mention a natural incredible source of vitamin D that we all need. My favorite is to go for a walk in the morning with my tea or coffee.
7. Get a plant for inside your home. If you are a plant person like me, then you already have them, yay! But if you automatically say "I am only good at killing plants" Look into succulents, snake plants or the potos plant. All of these plants are very hearty, if you forget to water them they will most likely come back to life pretty easily, and don't need too much sunlight.
8. Toss something that does not line up with who you want to become. Right now :) Stand up and find something that doesn't suit you anymore. I toss something, just one thing every month. This helps a lot to keep my home up to date with who I am becoming. Maybe even play catch up from this past year and toss 12 things!
9. Replace your lotion with olive oil or coconut oil. Not only is this cheaper for you, both immediately but also long term, but its SO much healthier for your skin, hair and body. Lotion naturally has a lot of chemicals. That lotion that smells so good has a lot of chemicals to make it smell so good. Ever since I began using coconut oil as my lotion my skin has gotten so much softer, and once its rubbed in it smells like nothing.
10. Replace your cleaning products with more natural chemical free alternatives. Clean with white vinegar instead of windex, use essential oils in place of your 409... Or simply buy Seventh Generation cleaning products instead of the typical name brand cleaning products most of us are familiar with. Personally I am switching to essential oils, just like my yoga studio.
11. Compost! If you have the space or means. This simple switch in habit is hugely beneficial to the health of our earth. Not to mention you could be creating the most rich and nutrient soil for your plants :)
12. Take 5 minutes to do an "I Like List" or a Gratitude list. I got this from Abraham Hicks, and I LOVE it. I do this everyday, I take a piece of paper and just ramble what ever I like or am thankful for, most of the time I mix both in. There's not wrong way to do this, its super fun, and immediately it puts you in a better mood. If you were already happy, that happiness will be taken to a higher level.
13. Record all the good things through out the day. I have a tiny note book that I bought at staples for .50 cents. And as something good happens through out the day I write it down. You could also record in in your phone... I think this is my most recent habit I have take on, and also the one where I see the biggest impact. I also include something I love about myself, and how far I have come in the past two years.
14. Take 5 minutes every single day to work on a goal you have, in addition to what you already have planned for the day. I do this with exercise, as a part of my routine for getting ready for the day. I set a timer for 5 minutes, and always start with sit-ups, as I get to tired to do any more, I switch to planks, push ups, donkey kicks... But you can do this with anything.
15. Make your home something you LOVE. Start with cleaning and organizing, then as you come across something you absolutely love find a way to incorporate it into your home. Maybe replace the bedding, pillows, dishes... OR hire a professional.
16. Hire a professional to help you achieve or create something that you want. There is something so amazing about working with a professional to catapult you into what you want to achieve. It may be expensive, but its worth it. You are worth it.
17. Affirmations. Man are these powerful. If you don't know where to start just look up "affirmations" on youtube. You can simply listen and repeat affirmations from a recording, or you could make up your own. Now I make up my own, I do them while I am exercising or driving. You simply say a statement that feels good to you it doesn't matter if it is true yet. The key is that the statement feels good as you are saying it. Sometimes I'll just keep saying different statements until one feels good, then I'll keep repeating that one. Sometimes what felt good yesterday will not feel good the next day and that is ok.
18. Drink more water :) if you already drink lots of water switch it up by adding fruit or tea into the water, and add coconut water into the mix. Drinking water with fruit or tea hels your body retain the hydration better. After doing hot yoga every day and feeling dehydrated even though I drank a gallon of water a day is what led me to this amazing suggestion from my incredible yoga teacher. It works very well :)
19. Turn off the news. If you like to be informed, read the news articles that speak to you. Do not watch the news. The news has so many subliminal messages that we simply do not need. If you read the news instead, you have time to digest what you are reading, and think about the validity, or the authors opinion. It may even lead you to something else you'd like to know more about.
20. Save a specific amount of money in a savings account. Even just $5 a month will add up. And that will not hurt your wallet. If you are already a good saver, awesome! Learn something else that will improve your financial IQ, like investing, and put it into practice.
21. Take on the "no complaint" challenge. Check out the book "A Complaint Free World" by Will Bowen. The link is long, but here it is. This is such a powerful challenge, that I am starting again. Last time it took me a year and 22 days, and I was so proud of myself that I stuck with it. But the coolest thing is that people were noticing. I was noticing how much my life was getting better in all areas. So no complaining for 21 consecutive days, if you do you start over. I dare you! :)
22. Do something for the pure and simple joy and fun of it. Every day. Often we forget to do fun things, its so easy to get caught up in the rat race, but this will shift your energy and help attract the exact thing that you are working so hard to get.
23. Laugh, even if that is fake laughing in front of the mirror. It works :)
24. Read. You know how powerful reading is, so pick a book that interests you and enjoy :)
25. Celebrate or give back to someone else. This one just makes me smile. And something I will be focusing on this year.
26. Experiment. With an attitude of curiosity you can make huge shifts in your life! Some experiments I did this year, was smoothies for the month of September, and hot yoga every day for three weeks in October. With the attitude of "I wonder what will happen" I am significantly healthier because of it. And just more excited about life in general.
Do you have any tweaks, or adjustments that have worked for you? E-mail them to me and I'll add them to the list! We are always growing, so lets put intention to grow into the person we want to become! Rather that doing a resolution of something you will quit or give up, bring a different approach to 2018, an approach of curiosity, inclusion, and ease. By changing a habit you change your life. All of these habits are things that I do, and a few of them are things I will incorporate into my life more often. I'm so excited for 2018, and cannot wait to see all the wonderful things that are in store.
Sending you love!
Good morning and Happy Holidays!
Its Christmas Eve tomorrow, and I can feel a lot of excitement all over my body, similar to how I would get as a kid, before opening presents. Except now as an adult, yes opening presents is very fun, my excitement is around what's coming after Christmas.
Today I woke up, and said I want to cuddle up, drink my tea, and write :) And as I piled all the pillows around me to "cuddle up" I felt so excited like a little kid. PS, this is my new favorite thing I think, to cuddle up with lots of pillows and feel like a kid, its really fun, I recommend you try it! Anyway I pulled out my journal to write, I opened up to what I wrote the other day about the direction and the things I want for 2018, and I thought "No! I want to post an article!" My normal routine is to get a little exercise in before I do anything else, I really love to walk around my neighborhood with my coffee or tea, but today my inspiration led me else where.
So reading my most recent thoughts in my journal, I'd like to share them with you! Where ever you are in your life right now, what would it take for you to make 2018 your best year ever? I challenge you to sit with this question, be open to it. Its ok if you don't come up with an answer.
As I was writing about this I broke it down into 6 categories:
What are the top six areas in your life? I know many people like to have a new years resolution, but I'm going to challenge this idea. A new years resolution is only one goal. I think we make a lot more progress if we have a couple goals (at least three) because sometimes attention to that certain area needs a break, AND when one area of your life gets better all areas of your life usually get better too.
Now take a minute, or 10 to think about the top areas of your life.
All set? Great!
Now we can go back to those categories and write out our goals for each category, I'll share mine:
Writing/Creativity: (this is kind of two categories, so I actually have 7 areas)
I want to write one article a week (on here, as of now I just write when I feel like it & have time), so now I intend to set aside time.
Creativity: I want to be more recognized for my creativity, I want to do creative things more often.
Finances: I want to have $2,000 in my checking at its low point and my car paid off. This is roughly $7,000 on top of my normal income/expenses.
Health/Body: I want to have a flat stomach with my same size breasts, so I want to flatten and tone up without loosing weight. And do at least two hot yoga classes a week.
Fun: I just want to have way more fun. I want to do more active adventures. When I go out with my friends I want to do more physical activities. With my best friends we do, so maybe just to hang out more :) As I'm writing this article I realize that there is a seminar I want to go to, so I am going to invite several people that I want to hang out with more.
Internal: I want to feel unconditional love for myself every day and stop judging myself and have a completely clean place. When I get busy or overwhelmed things tend to pile up, so I want to keep my place clean all the time.
Relationships: I'd like to not be affected my what some of my family members say. I want a boyfriend, one is looking like it will evolve into what I want :) And I'd like to hang out with my Dad more. I also want to be the type of person that only speaks good and lifts people up, with those closest to me, when they frustrate me I have a hard time speaking good :)
And there you have it! Here are my intentions or goals for the coming year, but I still wonder is having these goals what will help bring the best year ever? I don't know, and I am open to being re-directed. I am more excited to live according to questions that are coming up are as well:
What would happen if I tried to give my best value to everyone around me?
What beliefs can I change to bring the best, happiest, most abundant, love filled year yet?
Who knows! And I can't wait to find out. For me, the next step that I can see/understand is to get my place in order. So I am committing minimum one hour a day to cleaning, organizing, and being on top of things. My goal is to start 2018 with a place that is 100% in order!
I challenge you to post one of these questions somewhere in your house, and follow the inspiration each time it comes up, weather its to drive a different way to work, write affirmations on your water bottles, call up and old friend, or snuggle up on the couch with lots of pillows like a child. Just do it, see what happens :) If you're smiling then that is the right direction!
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, and Happy 2018!
I have not posted in a while. I think out of self judgement. When I write these articles I get so wrapped up in them, that often I end up not "starting" my day until noon or 1 pm. And so none of the ideas I was having was "good enough" to "waste" that much time. But I just had a gratitude epiphany, and want to share it.
About two weeks ago, I was exposed to some toxic fumes. I was at work, the area smelled bad, but I over looked it because we were in a rush. Until I was told to get off. About 10 minutes later I began to not feel that great, but I don't like complaining so I was not very loud about what I was experiencing. Later we get checked out my doctors and the doctors completely blow off the seriousness and sign me off as good to work again. During that week, I learn a little more, what all the potential side effects of this toxic exposure can cause, and I am terrified. Since that exposure, I had been doing every detox thing I can think of or that anybody I trust suggested. Thankfully my symptoms have gotten improved a little each day, and now I believe I will be OK. BUT because of this scare I have really been prioritizing my rest and health. I have not been pushing myself, and then just now as I was enjoying taking 30 minutes to cook my breakfast, and enjoy my tea, I realized that up until now it was never OK to rest, it caused anxiety that I was "wasting" time.
Now I am grateful for this exposure because it gave me permission to slow down, to sit here cuddled up with a warm blanket and a body pillow that makes me feel like I'm a child surrounded by all my lovies (stuffed animals). And I am truly enjoying it. I enjoy the comfort, I enjoy feeling like a child, that is being hugged by my lovies.
Relaxing is so important, we all "know" that - but I'm betting that there are more people similar to me than not - when you "do nothing" you are wasting time which could also be costly, if you're a time is money person. Because of this very scary thing, I took relaxing seriously, and now I do see the benefits. I am happier, I feel heard (because I'm listening to myself) and I feel love because I am allowing myself to feel like a child, and I'm seeing great creative solution, of which I have implemented. In my external world I met a guy that is so similar to me its funny, my finances are improving simply because I'm not spending as much money, my health is improving because I'm taking the time to cook and eat more vegetables, I feel the support from my supervisors who have taken what happened seriously, and I just feel more loved. Now I feel grateful that this happened.
I needed this bad and very scary thing to happen to me to give myself permission to rest. I needed to learn that its OK to do nothing, and just hug a pillow, otherwise I would probably have worn myself into the ground by not letting up.
Before you need something bad to happen to learn a lesson like I did, what can you do today to scale back a bit? Would that be to meditate, would it be to not answer e-mails after 4 pm? Maybe you too will pile pillows on your couch and snuggle up with a blanket and a good book, or a journal? I don't believe tv, social media, or surfing the internet is truly relaxing, because your mind is still doing something, and there is still a sense of achievement that is sought out, especially when surfing the internet, so just let the electronics stay off for a bit. Maybe you even start a thing at home where one night a week all electronics are turned off? Maybe you will let someone cook dinner or let a friend pick up the kids? Whatever it may be, pick something today even if its just 5 minutes that takes something off your plate, makes your life a bit easier; or just put everything on hold so you can do nothing. You are WAY more important than all of these other things that you "need" to do. So start practicing that today <3
Sending cuddles, Jessica
This heart portrait was a break through for me! And I'd like to share it with you. There are two parts.
As I was coloring this heart, one I didn't like that it was not shaped the right way - Not liking it when things in general aren't "perfect". Now I see this metaphor. Also coloring my heart this green, the color of my heart (check out a map of the chakras) I noticed all this emotion, it was confusing, intense and a little overwhelming, and there was some sadness. It was as if I was feeling all of the emotions at once. Maybe that is what is going on? Then as I colored over the pink and purple it became black. Just like the "Splinter." So its not actually pain, maybe its just a little bit of energy from a different area inside my heart? Pink is my throat and purple is my head. Yep, so they are in my heart because this is how I have coped for so long. Thinking my way to love and saying what I should. And all of the emotions that I'm feeling are overwhelming and bring me to tears often. WOW, what a big breakthrough! Its ok to feel all of these different emotions all at once. My heart kind of turned irridescent and shined while writing this <3 Like I just found its true power.
So I don't need to say what I should anymore. And I don't need to think my way to love anymore. Feeling everything is going to be uncomfortable for a little while. But this is where you will live your true power. I'm feeling so grateful to see this. I feel like the blind man in Amelie when she grabs him, helps him across the street, and describes everything in such detail that the man feels like he can see.
I'll paste the video below. Its one of my favorite scenes in any movie of all times. Its makes my heart smile and tears come to my eyes every time, as I can't stop smiling.
Here is only the heart.
Now, on the continuation of my drawing, I drew all the glowing, radiating, mingling energy that feels iridescent. Now I understand. And all these times that I feel sad or cry not totally clear of the reason, now I know its just so much emotion, its not lingering underlying depression. Though many of the emotions are sad, now I know that I experience many emotions at the same time, and it will take time for me to be comfortable with this. So I say good bye to you as I feel glowing just like the blind man in Amelie.
Sending love to all those affected, which is almost everyone in Northern California and a few counties in southern California.
Almost everyone in Northern California has a friend or family member that is in danger of these fires going on right now, if you are one of the lucky ones that has not been directly impacted. My heart goes out to you. First here are a few resources:
If you do have internet that you have most likely found somewhere that can help. And "help" is exactly what inspired me to write this article. There are so many people that are willing to and want to help. Yet to my friends that I have reached out to, my help has been denied. Now more than ever help is needed yet, many of us feel uncomfortable accepting help. We have become so independent and used to doing everything on our own, that it may be hard to accept or even ask for help.
While right now is a very big tragedy, there are many people that are coming together to support each other. This is the beautiful part. People are reaching out to check on each other whom have not talked in many years. And help is being offered in so many different ways. If you do need help, please ask, there are many people that want to help. Facebook has been an incredible resource.
So to my close friend: "I want to help however I can. I know how uncomfortable it makes you feel to even be in a position of needing help, but it hurts me to have my help be rejected. This is a horrible time, I really hope that you will not need to evacuate. I hope that it rains tonight. I love you, and if the way that I am offering help does not work, please tell me what does work. Please tell me what would be helpful. I will give you food, I will give you money, I offered to share my apartment. I want to help you, so please tell me what will help since my ideas were not good ones to you."
I know that this personal scenario is not uncommon, so please know there are people that love you, and even if they don't know you, there are many people that want to help. Reach out, those that can will be grateful to help, and that they are in a position to be able to help.
Until things have settled hope this yoga video brings a little peace, even if it only lasts 20 minutes.
Prayers and Love, Jessica
You know when you are feeling super stressed? Maybe because you have way too much going on at once, or because you bit off more than you can chew.
The physical symptoms of stress are your body pushing against expansion. Just like growing pains, don't know if you had those as a kid, I did, it really hurt. Some people are aware when they are in the midst of expansion, and some people are not. It feels like stress. I'd like to be vulnerable right now, and share with you that right now; I am doing a job that is stretching me, and its super uncomfortable!
Each time I come to work on this job I just noticed that I huff and puff and feel so stressed out. Yesterday I got a headache instantly because of how much doubt flooded my body. I noticed that I was feeling resentful towards my client who is "putting all this stuff on me." Now, putting all of it together I realize she's not, I realize I created this job for myself. Its something that I want to do more often in my future, yet I'm so resistant! Conversely when I do a good job, I feel elated, so lucky, so proud, and like "YES! I can do ANYTHING!"
We are all going through this in some way. While I'm not totally clear on the solution, maybe its just to acknowledge you're in the middle of expanding, it is uncomfortable, and that is ok. Its uncomfortable to go beyond and into something that you don't know. But that is how we grow. Because I just realized what was going on with me, I wanted to share it with you.
Just like everybody else you are either in the middle of expansion, or have been there before. You are not alone, although it sure does feel like it. And yes, there is also the fear of failure, but now realizing what is going on no matter what happens I have already grown, and can handle more than I was able to before taking on this job. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of you. So next time you are feeling stressed out, pause, take a breath, or five, and acknowledge that you are moving beyond what you knew, go you!
Today whatever you have going on, try to push your own limits in some way, any way. You will expand in more ways than you realize just from doing that one tiny thing today.
I am happy to report that I successfully stuck to only eating smoothies for the entire month of September.... Well around the middle of the month I had a few salads too :) But I loved it!
Here is what I learned about myself:
1. I just need to eat more fat.
2. When I have a craving its because I haven't eaten enough salt lately.
3. I'm not actually a bottomless pit, I was just not eating the right foods for me, and following these smoothie recipes bring nutrients into my life that I don't normally consume. After all why would you randomly crave goji berries when they are $8 a bag? Or eat a spoon of coconut oil? BUT now I know otherwise! I do have a very on the go lifestyle, and making a smoothie for me to drink as I drive was an amazing solution to getting the nutrients I needed without slowing down my pace. If anything it sped things up for me because I was properly fueled.
Now we are in a new month, so new goal! But smoothies are now integrated into my daily life. And not just a yummy smoothie with lots of fruit. I'll continue to follow the recipes, and load on the fattening ingredients! (and ps, I like my body better, both how I look and how I feel)
What is something that you could try out for the entire month? I encourage you to experiment. Can you commit to drawing everyday, drinking a specific amount of water everyday or complimenting someone everyday? Having fresh flowers in your entry way? Doing 100 sit-ups or push-ups? Doing something challenging/or scary everyday? Like going for a promotion, starting your own business, skydiving, telling the truth, rather than keeping peace at your expense?
For me... I've started going to an improve class, last night was the first session, and I have a 64 oz. juice container that I have filled with water, and will finish it everyday. I'd love to hear with shift you will commit to for the month of October!
Keeping inline with the new ritual that I have practiced over the past year with my coach Rebecca https://rebeccamassoud.com/ that at the beginning of each month, I take a look at my life, my goals, and what things would I like to release? And what would I like to move towards? Tomorrow is September 1, and because of a wonderful woman that I flew with I felt inspired to replace all of my meals with smoothies for the month of September! The original idea was juicing, but I don't have a juicer, so the next best thing is doing smoothies. I don't know why I'm so excited, but I'm betting I will see and feel some health benefits! And I imagine that I will save a little money in my overall food budget for the month, which would be nice.
While it may not work for you to do a type of detox diet like this for the entire month, what is one thing that you can replace in your day, for something more healthful or happy? Could you write for 10 minutes everyday? Maybe do a smoothie for breakfast everyday? Read rather than watch a TV show? Meet up with friends for a walk instead of a bar one day a week? Or instead of a family movie night, you go on a family hike? No matter where you are in your life we can all pick something to modify. Rather that "not" doing something, or cutting something out, I believe we should "add" or "replace" things into our lives. Again the smaller the tweak is, the more permanent it will be. So what new thing would you like to try out or incorporate into your life? Or what area of your life would you like to be different? Its a new month, pick something are stick to it for just one month! I know you'll be happy with the results <3
Update September 10th
Hello! I'm loving this month of smoothies and I just wanted to provide an update. Here is what I have noticed and learned about myself so far:
I'm way less congested, and in general just more clear. I breath easier, my skin is looking better and I just feel lighter.
Because I'm following the recipes I have begun to think that I just don't eat enough fat in my diet. To this day I've only met one person that eats as much as I do. I really don't like how much I eat sometimes, its time consuming and gets expensive! I eat like my 15 year old brother did, when he was training in football. While I do enjoy the benefits of my fast metabolism, sometimes I really don't like how starving I feel after having just ate a huge meal two hours earlier. And now I see that maybe I just don't get enough fat. With these delicious smoothie recipes many of the recipes call for a spoon of coconut oil, or coconut milk, from the can (quite fattening), or peanut butter. All of which I normally don't eat.... up until now. But now I feel full for MUCH longer than is typical for me, which is great.
A majority of the time, now the fruits and vegetables are raw because they are frozen. Because I can feel the difference, I realize that my nutrient intake is much higher than normal because I'm predominantly eating raw.
Just feeling great in general! More to come!
Does this question apply to you? Do you sometimes, or maybe even often feel drained and you don't understand why. Most likely you are an empath like me, and you absorb people's energy. So then the real question is:
How Do I Stop Absorbing People's Energy?
This was a questions I had about 6 months ago, and just realized that I've figured it out, and found a solution that works for me (a combination of one to all a day depending on how I feel), and want to share it with you!
1. Meditate -
Make it a point to meditate at least once during the day, maybe two or three times a day. You can meditate from three hours, to just 5 minutes. Its the easiest and cheapest energy boosting thing that you can do! And you can meditate anywhere. There are hundreds of approaches to meditating, from sitting in silence with a still mind, to following the bouncy thoughts that seem to become louder as we become quiet. You can also look up guided meditations on youtube. Because there is such an endless abundance of styles, and guided meditations, try a new one out from youtube every day for a week and find the one that feels the best to you. The point is feeling good, so if it feels good follow that.
2. Drink Water -
Being dehydrated is the number one reason for feeling physical fatigue. A while ago I decided to try drinking water for a consecutive 5 minutes. I'd set my timer and focus on drinking water the entire time. My stomach would get really full, but I felt so much better the rest of the day, and noticed that my sleeping also improved. Now I drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning, before I get in the shower (sometimes those are the same thing, so then I'd only drink one glass), and I bring a large water bottle with me everywhere I go, and when I am going somewhere that I know will have a bathroom, like home, a friends house, a restaurant... I'll try to finish the bottle of water before I get there, and refill it, and repeat this the entire day. When I am good about it I see a very noticeable difference in my energy levels.
3. Read -
Cary a book with you, and read when ever you can. You can read anytime you are waiting in line, or waiting to pick up your kids... Or make it a point to sit and read for at least 10 minutes during the day. Read a book you enjoy that makes you laugh, feel happy, or optimistic.
4. Realize that we are all on our own path -
As an empath I know that it is very natural to notice when someone is not doing well, or even just able to see that they could be doing better - AND then feel like it is our responsibility to "help" them. But its not. Its not our responsibility to help them, and it may actually mess up their path, or what ever lesson they are meant to learn by their hardship. Who knows, they may not every think what they are going through is a hardship! This is not to say to be mean and ignore people or let them suffer, but just realize its not your responsibility. I know us empaths, have a tenancy to take on people's problems and make it our own, but that does not actually help anybody. Leading to the next one...
5. Focus on filling up your own cup -
This was quite an abstract idea for me. But do things that make yourself feel good. Make your home beautiful, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, do a yoga class, dress nice, take a nap, watch a movie.... What ever makes you feel good is what needs to happen more often during your day. This does not have to cost money, its just a shift in where you place your effort. If this sounds like too big of an idea just make it a point to do something that makes you happy or maybe even just releases stress 5 minutes a day. Gradually increase it, you will see your life change :)
6. Realize that everything revolves around love -
Everything we do, the choices we make are in relationship to love. Weather or not we think we deserve love. How successful we want to be is in relationship to love, either we think we have to be successful to get love, keep love, or protect our selves from getting hurt. Some of us are successful because we love what we do. Which is ideal, but then that is saying that we deserve to be happy and are deserving to love our lives. Some of us might not want "success" because we think we will loose love. So when you interact with a jerk, remember that they are just acting out their anger, that they don't deserve love, on you. Please don't talk about this to random people, especially the "angry" type of people, they are likely to react harshly. But do pay attention and observe. Notice your self, and the choices you've made over the years. Did you choose a certain degree because your parents would be proud of you? Its an abstract idea but I do believe that noticing things in this light helps me to not take things personally and make other people's problems my own. Now I feel more compassion for others, rather than being annoyed at them for having bad energy.
7. Yoga -
Exercise in general is great. Personally I think its fun, but there have been many studies that say exercise boosts our energy levels. But yoga in particular I find to be very grounding (centering) and thus feeling more energized. Again like most of the ideas above you can do yoga for as little as 5 minutes and feel the benefits, or you could take a yoga class. Personally I absolutely love hot yoga (Bikram) but if you don't have the time a yoga class may not suit you for that day. But youtube (my favorite!) has hundreds of yoga videos to choose from. If you want to look at my favorites check out the "wellness" category on the right hand side of this web page.
Just a side note, if you have not done hot yoga before, please tell the instructor before taking the class, you can even call the studio and ask for suggestions before signing up, and make sure to drink LOTS of water, I normally drink 2-4 liters of water, before, during & after. At least one liter before the class always. It is a tough class, but I absolutely love how I feel afterwards.
I hope one or all of these help you feel more energized! I realized that in noticing my own progress, I was looking for a one time solution, but that doesn't exist for this. It will always be a work in progress.
Sending you love!
Hello, Parents, Guardians, and Care Takers!
I know how frustrating the battle of trying to get your child to clean up their room can be. Depending on how resistant the child may be you may have to break it down even more. But I'd like to share what has worked for me.
Some awesome tools anytime a child is resistant (or even for yourself) to anything is to set a timer. Lets say your child's room is a disaster, the bed is not made, you didn't even know they had this much toys and you can barely see the floor underneath, and that pile of clothes, well you are really not sure, but you're betting its dirty. And you try so hard to get them to put dirty clothes in the hamper!?!
Depending on the age, how messy their room is, and their resistance, using a timer is a fantastic tool. If they are super resistant, it may be a good idea to help them. If you do help them, I'd make it a "race" to see who can pick up the most things, or let them be the "boss" and let them tell you what they want help with. DO NOT do anything on your own or for them, this will just teach them that if they act helpless, or act out enough that they don't really have to do it.
If you really have no idea how long it might take, or not clear on their resistance level, I'd start at 10 minutes for ages 6-8, younger, 5 minutes, and older I'd start with 20 minutes. Put the timer somewhere that they can see it count down, and then set a goal. For example "Lets see if we can get this floor 100% clean before the timer goes off!"
Then when the timer goes off or you get the floor clean celebrate, give them a high five, let them pick a fun game to play with you, or even take a picture of them showing off their clean room. The celebration part is important, you want them to recognize their own success, and be in that moment with them of feeling proud.
Then to truly improve their habits, each time they change activities make sure they clean up what they are now finished with, you can set a timer for 5 minutes, or just make sure they put it all away. Again this depends on how big the mess is and their resistance level. Or maybe at bed time, right before reading stories, now you/they spend 5 minutes tidying up their room. Just make it a new daily habit, however it works best for you.
I do this for myself too, right before getting ready for bed, I spend 10 minutes tidying up my home, however it may be, filing away some papers, finishing up something I was working on earlier in the day, finishing up dishes that I didn't have a chance to finish earlier... If I'm that on top of everything that day, I will spend those 10 minutes doing something to prepare myself for the next day.
Make this a consistent habit, and you will see an improvement; There will be less struggles, and more happiness and hugs!
With love, Jessica
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!