Do you drink a ton of water and yet still feel dehydrated?  Or like you're still thirsty even though you just downed a liter of water? I have been one of those people most of my adult life.  Its super frustrating to drink so much water, go to the bathroom a lot and yet still feel thirsty, ummm what is going on??? 

I'm sure there are many people that are similar to me, so I'd like to share what I have recently learned.    This will be beneficial to anyone that is very athletic, lives/travels in a hot climate, or my drinking buddies and wine lovers :)

I started doing hot yoga every day since October.  I absolutely LOVE it, but I was having a hard time drinking enough water, it just would not fit in my body.  Not to mention my previous condition of drinking tons of water to begin with, yet still feel thirsty.  I'm healthy, athletic, and eat vegan gluten free 95% of the time, and at least one meal a day is raw.   I expressed this frustration to some of my yoga teachers.  And she suggested adding something to my water, and drinking coconut water.  I already drank quite a bit of coconut water, I love it.  But I implemented what she said.  I began drinking a coconut water minimum once a day.  I love the zico bottles, so that is very easy for me to measure.  Then I would add something to my water, an orange, a lemon, some mint, a strawberry, blueberry, cucumber...

After a few days, (probably it only took a day, but when I noticed) I was feeling better, more energetic - a symptom of dehydration is just feeling very drained- and to my surprise I was craving less water.  Craving less water was a first for me!  Now I can just take a hot yoga class when ever I want, I don't need to plan and prepare, and make sure that I drink enough water by a certain time, like I was doing previously.

I remember reading an article somewhere, that said that as we get older our body naturally doesn't retain water as well as it used to, and so adding something like fruit to your water will help your body retain the water better so that you body is getting the hydration it needs.  At the time of reading that article I did it, but was not religious about it, and eventually forgot about it, until my yoga teaching suggested this.

Now very often, in addition to just adding lemon or cucumber to my water, I will toss a few strawberries, or whatever fruit I have in the freezer, and fill the rest of the blender with water, or coconut water :) and throw that into the mix of my drinks for the day.  Its easy, plus a great way to add a little more nutrients into you diet!  Today in preparing for yoga I added only a few cubes of frozen mango, filled the blender with coconut water, and some chia seeds after blending.  It was delicious, thirst quenching and satisfying!  And it also didn't fill me up, where as if I made a full on smoothie, I would have felt a little too full for class.

While you don't necessarily need to be a Yogi to try this out, this hydration technique will also be very beneficial to anyone that does any kind of high intensity training or workouts, like cross fit or athletes, if you live or are traveling in a hot location.  Heat sick is NO fun, simply add a lemon to your water bottle before you venture out, it will make your day so much better.  And of course if you are day drinking or wine tasting.  If you're at a bar then this will be super easy for you to do, so try it out, and see how much better you feel the next day.  You can simply ask your server for any garnish in your water, a lemon or lime will probably be the easiest, but if you are somewhere nice, why not request a strawberry, orange slice or a cucumber? 

Cheers!
​Jessica

Hello friends!

I wish you all the best year yet, full of dreams and wishes come true, abundance, happiness, and health.  For some reason I am just so excited for this year!  I'm not exactly sure why, but I am enjoying this excitement.  Typically most of us set a new years resolution which is great, but this year I am going to suggest something a little different.  

Instead of setting a new years resolution, which often revolves around giving up something, I am going to suggest tweaking, replacing, creating and adding things.  I promise these tiny shifts will create big changes in your life, because it has for me.  Maybe you won't see any results right away, but one day you'll notice, "wow, I'm a lot happier, healthier or better off financially than before!"

1. Create a playlist of songs you absolutely love AND the lyrics are uplifting/have a positive message.  I have this playlist on youtube, when I hear a song that matches both of these criteria I add it to my playlist, all of my songs are uplifting with a positive message, about winning, lasting love, encouragement, or just plain being happy.  "I can't stop the feeling" by Justin Timberlake is the epitome of what I mean.  Thank you so much for creating such an incredible song! 

2.  Rock out to these songs!  Who cares if you are a bad dancer, if you drove past me today you would have saw this crazy chick completely rocking out to her incredible playlist!!!!

3. Meditate.  5 minutes and hour... It doesn't matter, just do it.  There are youtube videos for those of you that think there is supposed to be a certain way to do it.  All else fails just sit down, set a timer and close your eyes.  There is no wrong way, its ok if your mind won't stop racing.  There are hundreds of approaches to meditating, try all of them and see which one suits you!

4. Learn something new.  Try a new recipe, implement something interesting from a book, follow a youtube tutorial that you like, or ask a friend or family member to teach you something you think they are really good at.  Talk about an incredible compliment!

5.  Try eating Vegan or Gluten Free one day a week.  Both have excellent health benefits.  I am Vegan Gluten Free, my transition was very slow, see my article about becoming gluten free under the "Wellness" category.  Eating Vegan will definitely save you money, at the very least a couple dollars on your meal if you go out to eat.  So try it out, just one day a week. 

6. Spend more time outside.  How ever it suits you, the outdoors has so many incredible benefits.  Not to mention a natural incredible source of vitamin D that we all need. My favorite is to go for a walk in the morning with my tea or coffee.  

7.  Get a plant for inside your home.  If you are a plant person like me, then you already have them, yay! But if you automatically say "I am only good at killing plants"  Look into succulents, snake plants or the potos plant.  All of these plants are very hearty, if you forget to water them they will most likely come back to life pretty easily, and don't need too much sunlight.

8.  Toss something that does not line up with who you want to become.  Right now :) Stand up and find something that doesn't suit you anymore.  I toss something, just one thing every month.  This helps a lot to keep my home up to date with who I am becoming.  Maybe even play catch up from this past year and toss 12 things!

9.  Replace your lotion with olive oil or coconut oil.  Not only is this cheaper for you, both immediately but also long term, but its SO much healthier for your skin, hair and body.  Lotion naturally has a lot of chemicals.  That lotion that smells so good has a lot of chemicals to make it smell so good.  Ever since I began using coconut oil as my lotion my skin has gotten so much softer, and once its rubbed in it smells like nothing.

10. Replace your cleaning products with more natural chemical free alternatives.  Clean with white vinegar instead of windex, use essential oils in place of your 409...  Or simply buy Seventh Generation cleaning products instead of the typical name brand cleaning products most of us are familiar with.  Personally I am switching to essential oils, just like my yoga studio.

11.  Compost!  If you have the space or means.  This simple switch in habit is hugely beneficial to the health of our earth.  Not to mention you could be creating the most rich and nutrient soil for your plants :)

12.  Take 5 minutes to do an "I Like List" or a Gratitude list.  I got this from Abraham Hicks, and I LOVE it.  I do this everyday, I take a piece of paper and just ramble what ever I like or am thankful for, most of the time I mix both in.  There's not wrong way to do this, its super fun, and immediately it puts you in a better mood.  If you were already happy, that happiness will be taken to a higher level.

13.  Record all the good things through out the day.  I have a tiny note book that I bought at staples for .50 cents.  And as something good happens through out the day I write it down.  You could also record in in your phone...  I think this is my most recent habit I have take on, and also the one where I see the biggest impact.  I also include something I love about myself, and how far I have come in the past two years.

14. Take 5 minutes every single day to work on a goal you have, in addition to what you already have planned for the day.  I do this with exercise, as a part of my routine for getting ready for the day.  I set a timer for 5 minutes, and always start with sit-ups, as I get to tired to do any more, I switch to planks, push ups, donkey kicks...  But you can do this with anything.

15.  Make your home something you LOVE.  Start with cleaning and organizing, then as you come across something you absolutely love find a way to incorporate it into your home.  Maybe replace the bedding, pillows, dishes...  OR hire a professional.

16.  Hire a professional to help you achieve or create something that you want.  There is something so amazing about working with a professional to catapult you into what you want to achieve.  It may be expensive, but its worth it.  You are worth it.

17. Affirmations.  Man are these powerful.  If you don't know where to start just look up "affirmations" on youtube.  You can simply listen and repeat affirmations from a recording, or you could make up your own.  Now I make up my own, I do them while I am exercising or driving.  You simply say a statement that feels good to you it doesn't matter if it is true yet.  The key is that the statement feels good as you are saying it.  Sometimes I'll just keep saying different statements until one feels good, then I'll keep repeating that one.  Sometimes what felt good yesterday will not feel good the next day and that is ok.

18.  Drink more water :)  if you already drink lots of water switch it up by adding fruit or tea into the water, and add coconut water into the mix.  Drinking water with fruit or tea hels your body retain the hydration better.  After doing hot yoga every day and feeling dehydrated even though I drank a gallon of water a day is what led me to this amazing suggestion from my incredible yoga teacher.  It works very well :)

19.  Turn off the news.  If you like to be informed, read the news articles that speak to you.  Do not watch the news.  The news has so many subliminal messages that we simply do not need.  If you read the news instead, you have time to digest what you are reading, and think about the validity, or the authors opinion.  It may even lead you to something else you'd like to know more about.

20.  Save a specific amount of money in a savings account.  Even just $5 a month will add up.  And that will not hurt your wallet.  If you are already a good saver, awesome!  Learn something else that will improve your financial IQ, like investing, and put it into practice.

21.  Take on the "no complaint" challenge.  Check out the book "A Complaint Free World" by Will Bowen.  The link is long, but here it is.  This is such a powerful challenge, that I am starting again.  Last time it took me a year and 22 days, and I was so proud of myself that I stuck with it.  But the coolest thing is that people were noticing.  I was noticing how much my life was getting better in all areas.  So no complaining for 21 consecutive days, if you do you start over.  I dare you! :)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/complaint-free-world-will-bowen/1100831828/2677371894439?st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Catch-All,+Low_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP79700&gclid=Cj0KCQiA1afSBRD2ARIsAEvBsNnULBIQ6Hoy_N4A4U8lzUeE2TegxdsHr-KkkiudKP2_YvMAVdWD9xQaAkKaEALw_wcB

22.  Do something for the pure and simple joy and fun of it.  Every day.  Often we forget to do fun things, its so easy to get caught up in the rat race, but this will shift your energy and help attract the exact thing that you are working so hard to get.

23. Laugh, even if that is fake laughing in front of the mirror.  It works :)  

24.  Read.  You know how powerful reading is, so pick a book that interests you and enjoy :)

25.  Celebrate or give back to someone else.  This one just makes me smile.  And something I will be focusing on this year.

26. Experiment.  With an attitude of curiosity you can make huge shifts in your life!  Some experiments I did this year, was smoothies for the month of September, and hot yoga every day for three weeks in October.  With the attitude of "I wonder what will happen" I am significantly healthier because of it.  And just more excited about life in general.

Do you have any tweaks, or adjustments that have worked for you?  E-mail them to me and I'll add them to the list!   We are always growing, so lets put intention to grow into the person we want to become!  Rather that doing a resolution of something you will quit or give up, bring a different approach to 2018, an approach of curiosity, inclusion, and ease.  By changing a habit you change your life.  All of these habits are things that I do, and a few of them are things I will incorporate into my life more often.  I'm so excited for 2018, and cannot wait to see all the wonderful things that are in store.  

Sending you love!
Jessica

 Good morning and Happy Holidays!
 Its Christmas Eve tomorrow, and I can feel a lot of excitement all over my body, similar to how I would get as a kid, before opening presents.  Except now as an adult, yes opening presents is very fun, my excitement is around what's coming after Christmas.  

Today I woke up, and said I want to cuddle up, drink my tea, and write :)  And as I piled all the pillows around me to "cuddle up" I felt so excited like a little kid.  PS, this is my new favorite thing I think, to cuddle up with lots of pillows and feel like a kid, its really fun, I recommend you try it! Anyway I pulled out my journal to write, I opened up to what I wrote the other day about the direction and the things I want for 2018, and I thought "No! I want to post an article!"  My normal routine is to get a little exercise in before I do anything else, I really love to walk around my neighborhood with my coffee or tea, but today my inspiration led me else where.  

So reading my most recent thoughts in my journal, I'd like to share them with you!  Where ever you are in your life right now, what would it take for you to make 2018 your best year ever?  I challenge you to sit with this question, be open to it.  Its ok if you don't come up with an answer.

As I was writing about this I broke it down into 6 categories:
Writing/Creativity
Finances
Health/Body
Fun
Internal
Relationships

What are the top six areas in your life?  I know many people like to have a new years resolution, but I'm going to challenge this idea.  A new years resolution is only one goal.  I think we make a lot more progress if we have a couple goals (at least three)  because sometimes attention to that certain area needs a break, AND when one area of your life gets better all areas of your life usually get better too.

Now take a minute, or 10 to think about the top areas of your life.
All set? Great!
Now we can go back to those categories and write out our goals for each category, I'll share mine:

Writing/Creativity: (this is kind of two categories, so I actually have 7 areas)
I want to write one article a week (on here, as of now I just write when I feel like it & have time), so now I intend to set aside time.
Creativity: I want to be more recognized for my creativity, I want to do creative things more often.
Finances: I want to have $2,000 in my checking at its low point and my car paid off.  This is roughly $7,000 on top of my normal income/expenses.
Health/Body: I want to have a flat stomach with my same size breasts, so I want to flatten and tone up without loosing weight. And do at least two hot yoga classes a week.
Fun:  I just want to have way more fun.  I want to do more active adventures.  When I go out with my friends I want to do more physical activities.  With my best friends we do, so maybe just to hang out more :)  As I'm writing this article I realize that there is a seminar I want to go to, so I am going to invite several people that I want to hang out with more.
Internal: I want to feel unconditional love for myself every day and stop judging myself and have a completely clean place.  When I get busy or overwhelmed things tend to pile up, so I want to keep my place clean all the time.
Relationships: I'd like to not be affected my what some of my family members say.  I want a boyfriend, one is looking like it will evolve into what I want :)  And I'd like to hang out with my Dad more.  I also want to be the type of person that only speaks good and lifts people up, with those closest to me, when they frustrate me I have a hard time speaking good :)

And there you have it! Here are my intentions or goals for the coming year, but I still wonder is having these goals what will help bring the best year ever?  I don't know, and I am open to being re-directed.  I am more excited to live according to questions that are coming up are as well:

What would happen if I tried to give my best value to everyone around me?
What beliefs can I change to bring the best, happiest, most abundant, love filled year yet?

Who knows!  And I can't wait to find out.  For me, the next step that I can see/understand is to get my place in order.  So I am committing minimum one hour a day to cleaning, organizing, and being on top of things.  My goal is to start 2018 with a place that is 100% in order!

I challenge you to post one of these questions somewhere in your house, and follow the inspiration each time it comes up, weather its to drive a different way to work, write affirmations on your water bottles, call up and old friend, or snuggle up on the couch with lots of pillows like a child.  Just do it, see what happens :)  If you're smiling then that is the right direction!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays, and Happy 2018!

appy October!
I am happy to report that I successfully stuck to only eating smoothies for the entire month of September.... Well around the middle of the month I had a few salads too :)  But I loved it! 

Here is what I learned about myself:
1. I just need to eat more fat.
2. When I have a craving its because I haven't eaten enough salt lately.
3. I'm not actually a bottomless pit, I was just not eating the right foods for me, and following these smoothie recipes bring nutrients into my life that I don't normally consume.  After all why would you randomly crave goji berries when they are $8 a bag?  Or eat a spoon of coconut oil?  BUT now I know otherwise!  I do have a very on the go lifestyle, and making a smoothie for me to drink as I drive was an amazing solution to getting the nutrients I needed without slowing down my pace.  If anything it sped things up for me because I was properly fueled.

Now we are in a new month, so new goal!  But smoothies are now integrated into my daily life.  And not just a yummy smoothie with lots of fruit.  I'll continue to follow the recipes, and load on the fattening ingredients!  (and ps, I like my body better, both how I look and how I feel)

What is something that you could try out for the entire month?  I encourage you to experiment.  Can you commit to drawing everyday, drinking a specific amount of water everyday or complimenting someone everyday?  Having fresh flowers in your entry way?  Doing 100 sit-ups or push-ups?  Doing something challenging/or scary everyday?  Like going for a promotion, starting your own business, skydiving, telling the truth, rather than keeping peace at your expense?

For me... I've started going to an improve class, last night was the first session, and I have a 64 oz. juice container that I have filled with water, and will finish it everyday.  I'd love to hear with shift you will commit to for the month of October!

​Sending Love

Hello Everyone!

Keeping inline with the new ritual that I have practiced over the past year with my coach Rebecca https://rebeccamassoud.com/ that at the beginning of each month, I take a look at my life, my goals, and what things would I like to release? And what would I like to move towards?  Tomorrow is September 1, and because of a wonderful woman that I flew with I felt inspired to replace all of my meals with smoothies for the month of September!  The original idea was juicing, but I don't have a juicer, so the next best thing is doing smoothies.  I don't know why I'm so excited, but I'm betting I will see and feel some health benefits!  And I imagine that I will save a little money in my overall food budget for the month, which would be nice.

While it may not work for you to do a type of detox diet like this for the entire month, what is one thing that you can replace in your day, for something more healthful or happy?  Could you write for 10 minutes everyday?  Maybe do a smoothie for breakfast everyday?  Read rather than watch a TV show?  Meet up with friends for a walk instead of a bar one day a week?  Or instead of a family movie night, you go on a family hike?  No matter where you are in your life we can all pick something to modify.  Rather that "not" doing something, or cutting something out, I believe we should "add" or "replace" things into our lives.  Again the smaller the tweak is, the more permanent it will be.  So what new thing would you like to try out or incorporate into your life?  Or what area of your life would you like to be different?  Its a new month, pick something are stick to it for just one month!  I know you'll be happy with the results <3

Update September 10th

Hello!  I'm loving this month of smoothies and I just wanted to provide an update.  Here is what I have noticed and learned about myself so far:

I'm way less congested, and in general just more clear.  I breath easier, my skin is looking better and I just feel lighter.

Because I'm following the recipes I have begun to think that I just don't eat enough fat in my diet.  To this day I've only met one person that eats as much as I do.  I really don't like how much I eat sometimes, its time consuming and gets expensive!  I eat like my 15 year old brother did, when he was training in football.  While I do enjoy the benefits of my fast metabolism, sometimes I really don't like how starving I feel after having just ate a huge meal two hours earlier.  And now I see that maybe I just don't get enough fat.  With these delicious smoothie recipes many of the recipes call for a spoon of coconut oil, or coconut milk, from the can (quite fattening), or peanut butter.  All of which I normally don't eat.... up until now.  But now I feel full for MUCH longer than is typical for me, which is great.

A majority of the time, now the fruits and vegetables are raw because they are frozen.  Because I can feel the difference, I realize that my nutrient intake is much higher than normal because I'm predominantly eating raw. 

Just feeling great in general!  More to come!

Love, Jessica

Hello!
Does this question apply to you?  Do you sometimes, or maybe even often feel drained and you don't understand why.  Most likely you are an empath like me, and you absorb people's energy.  So then the real question is:

How Do I Stop Absorbing People's Energy?

This was a questions I had about 6 months ago, and just realized that I've figured it out, and found a solution that works for me (a combination of one to all a day depending on how I feel), and want to share it with you!  

1. Meditate -
Make it a point to meditate at least once during the day, maybe two or three times a day.  You can meditate from three hours, to just 5 minutes.  Its the easiest and cheapest energy boosting thing that you can do!  And you can meditate anywhere.  There are hundreds of  approaches to meditating, from sitting in silence with a still mind, to following the bouncy thoughts that seem to become louder as we become quiet.  You can also look up guided meditations on youtube.  Because there is such an endless abundance of styles, and guided meditations, try a new one out from youtube every day for a week and find the one that feels the best to you.  The point is feeling good, so if it feels good follow that.

2. Drink Water -
Being dehydrated is the number one reason for feeling physical fatigue.  A while ago I decided to try drinking water for a consecutive 5 minutes.  I'd set my timer and focus on drinking water the entire time.  My stomach would get really full,  but I felt so much better the rest of the day, and noticed that my sleeping also improved.  Now I drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning, before I get in the shower (sometimes those are the same thing, so then I'd only drink one glass), and I bring a large water bottle with me everywhere I go, and when I am going somewhere that I know will have a bathroom, like home, a friends house, a restaurant... I'll try to finish the bottle of water before I get there, and refill it, and repeat this the entire day.  When I am good about it I see a very noticeable difference in my energy levels.

3. Read -
Cary a book with you, and read when ever you can.  You can read anytime you are waiting in line, or waiting to pick up your kids...  Or make it a point to sit and read for at least 10 minutes during the day.  Read a book you enjoy that makes you laugh, feel happy, or optimistic.

4. Realize that we are all on our own path - 
As an empath I know that it is very natural to notice when someone is not doing well, or even just able to see that they could be doing better - AND then feel like it is our responsibility to "help" them.  But its not.  Its not our responsibility to help them, and it may actually mess up their path, or what ever lesson they are meant to learn by their hardship.  Who knows, they may not every think what they are going through is a hardship!  This is not to say to be mean and ignore people or let them suffer, but just realize its not your responsibility.   I know us empaths, have a tenancy to take on people's problems and make it our own, but that does not actually help anybody.  Leading to the next one...

5. Focus on filling up your own cup -
This was quite an abstract idea for me.  But do things that make yourself feel good.  Make your home beautiful, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, do a yoga class, dress nice, take a nap, watch a movie.... What ever makes you feel good is what needs to happen more often during your day.  This does not have to cost money, its just a shift in where you place your effort.  If this sounds like too big of an idea just make it a point to do something that makes you happy or maybe even just releases stress 5 minutes a day.  Gradually increase it, you will see your life change :)

6. Realize that everything revolves around love - 
Everything we do, the choices we make are in relationship to love.  Weather or not we think we deserve love.  How successful we want to be is in relationship to love, either we think we have to be successful to get love, keep love, or protect our selves from getting hurt.  Some of us are successful because we love what we do.  Which is ideal, but then that is saying that we deserve to be happy and are deserving to love our lives.  Some of us might not want "success" because we think we will loose love.  So when you interact with a jerk, remember that they are just acting out their anger, that they don't deserve love, on you.  Please don't talk about this to random people, especially the "angry" type of people, they are likely to react harshly.  But do pay attention and observe.  Notice your self, and the choices you've made over the years.  Did you choose a certain degree because your parents would be proud of you?  Its an abstract idea but I do believe that noticing things in this light helps me to not take things personally and make other people's problems my own.  Now I feel more compassion for others, rather than being annoyed at them for having bad energy.

7. Yoga -
Exercise in general is great.  Personally I think its fun, but there have been many studies that say exercise boosts our energy levels.  But yoga in particular I find to be very grounding (centering) and thus feeling more energized.  Again like most of the ideas above you can do yoga for as little as 5 minutes and feel the benefits, or you could take a yoga class.  Personally I absolutely love hot yoga (Bikram) but if you don't have the time a yoga class may not suit you for that day.  But youtube (my favorite!) has hundreds of yoga videos to choose from.  If you want to look at my favorites check out the "wellness" category on the right hand side of this web page.

Just a side note, if you have not done hot yoga before, please tell the instructor before taking the class, you can even call the studio and ask for suggestions before signing up, and make sure to drink LOTS of water, I normally drink 2-4 liters of water, before, during & after.  At least one liter before the class always.  It is a tough class, but I absolutely love how I feel afterwards. 

I hope one or all of these help you feel more energized!  I realized that in noticing my own progress, I was looking for a one time solution, but that doesn't exist for this.  It will always be a work in progress.  

Sending you love!
​Jessica

Hello!

Today's article is inspired by the book I'm currently reading "YOU Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero and a little  conversation I had while flying.  On page 238 Jen Sincero is talking about setting honest goals.  This is something I already do, and what this blog is all about (feeling proud of myself, tehehe).  BUT this book has got me thinking "How can I make my life absolutely amazing?  What can I do in my life to literally spring out of bed?"  I know these questions are a forever work in progress... BUT I asked the girls I'm working with, "what is something that you could do everyday that would make your life better?"  You never know, they may give me some great ideas or insight :)  One girl said she could purge something from her house every day.  I agreed, I can also do that, and I imagine it would make my life better as well.  The other girl said she could laugh more everyday.  I don't know why, but I grabbed her and started fake laughing, hahaha, it was only a matter of seconds before we both started really laughing.  Both of these girls did give me insight and ideas!  I too, could also use a little more laughter in my life, even if its fake laughing, and tossing something each day that no longer serves me would leave me physically lighter, ready for whatever new thing may serve me better, even if that just means more space :) and less to clean!

So what is something that you can do every day that would make your life better?  

I would really love to hear from you!  You can send me an e-mail at 5minutesistheway@gmail.com or comment below!

​Hugs, Jessica

Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't?  Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you?  I know I have plenty of times.  9 times out of 10 its anxiety.   It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion.  With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety."  I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety.  My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.

This technique is simple.  You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.

So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:

Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs.  This is a safe space for you to come up.  I am sorry I have always pushed you down.  It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing.  My beliefs about pain are changing.  I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say.  You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
 
When I meditate about the relationship that I want.  I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over.  It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly.  Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me?  Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too.  When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died.  I am here to protect you.  What if I found a relationship that didn’t end?  That is not true all things end.  What if things transformed rather than ended?  That is ok.  Alright.  So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok.  Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed.  That is ok.  You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore.  I will listen to you when you come up.  I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires.  Ok, I appreciate that.
 
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing.  My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
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What a turning point for me!  I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like.  If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less.  Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.  

With Love,
​Jessica