Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't? Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you? I know I have plenty of times. 9 times out of 10 its anxiety. It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion. With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety." I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety. My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.
This technique is simple. You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.
So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:
Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs. This is a safe space for you to come up. I am sorry I have always pushed you down. It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing. My beliefs about pain are changing. I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say. You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
When I meditate about the relationship that I want. I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over. It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly. Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me? Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too. When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died. I am here to protect you. What if I found a relationship that didn’t end? That is not true all things end. What if things transformed rather than ended? That is ok. Alright. So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok. Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed. That is ok. You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore. I will listen to you when you come up. I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires. Ok, I appreciate that.
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing. My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
What a turning point for me! I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like. If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less. Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.
Hello incredible human beings!
Could you imagine what your life would be like if you were the healthiest, most vibrant, full of life version of yourself everyday?
Have you ever stopped to think about how incredible your body is? The human body is a magical work of design. Our body takes care of all these things and we don't even have to think about how it works! It regenerates, it fights diseases to make us better, it has cravings to get you the right nutrients, it eliminates toxins in a variety of ways. Our human bodies are truly incredible eco systems!
Today I am organizing my files - which I use binders to keep all of my papers organized. I just finished organizing the "Health" binder, and felt inspired to write this article. As you know I'm pretty keen on manifesting, so I wrote about health and what I want for my health. I'll write about what I want for each binder/subject, but I wanted to share my health vision with you, as I'm sure many people want the same.
I am healthy, I am full of energy!
I am healthy, I am vibrant!
I am healthy, I continuously expand my physical and mental capacity.
I am blissed out! Happiness is my norm.
I am continuously growing younger; regenerating into a better version of myself each day.
I completely and utterly love myself.
I am healthy, I enjoy all of my physical capabilities.
I am healthy, I am the example of what life is.
I am healthy! I am life!
I have been looking through my articles, and I noticed that one article is upbeat, and then next is not as upbeat. This is not on purpose. My wish is for all of my articles to be uplifting, inspiring or spark some new idea in you!
But in some of the articles I realize that my inspirational intent is not so obvious. The articles that I have shared that are on the not as upbeat or even sad side, I share them to be vulnerable, something that is very hard for me, and hope that I give you courage to face your own beliefs, limitations or sadness/any feeling that is difficult to be present with. We all have stuff we would rather not have.
Its ok that its there and its ok that you may wish it wasn't.
Weather you tell anyone or not, is not the point. Just in facing yourself is already very courageous, and I promise if you are consistent with personal growth, meditation, and/or being present with your self things in your life will shift for the better. I am amazed at the things that are unfolding in my own life, and there is so MUCH more!!!
Also I have noticed that I have a natural pendulum swing in my emotions, and energy level too. Most likely you are the same. So these articles are representative of where I'm at that day, some days amazing, and some days not amazing. In addition the natural pendulum swing, I feel that as things get better, I discover new beliefs (taking me back) but also that I am able to handle going deeper into my emotions. So as I become happier, I am able to dive deeper into those darker emotions that I have suppressed. Thus making my pendulum swing greater.
For this reason, some articles are darker and some more fun.
I know each one of our paths is different. Its wonderful that we are all at different places experiencing different things. Today was a success for me. In a lot of ways. My outside physical world is a reflection of my internal successes today. And my Aunt and Uncle are a giant part of making it happen. I don't know that I will be able to convey how grateful, proud, and happy I am here, but I'm going to try!
Today I went to Ikea with my Aunt and Uncle. This Uncle is a very good man, and a role model for me. This Aunt is also a second mom. I am so blessed to have many second moms <3. I just moved into a new apartment, and am looking for space maximization! So they drove 40 minutes to meet me at Ikea, helped me buy the bed, and then came back to my home & built the bed. Which I didn't ask them to do... I hadn't thought this part out, I just figured I would figure it out... I'm SO GRATEFUL they built the bed for me, I helped when I could. Now I have my dream apartment, with this amazing luxuriously soft rug, and my perfect bed.
Surprisingly to me, I have picked what I used to deem very girly colors. I have light pink sheets, with a silverish rug. Its beautiful! I feel like a princess (heart so happy I'm crying). I've read several books lately, and have been doing a lot of internal work. Some of the stuff has been confronting what femininity means to me, and going into that. Until a month ago, I had no idea I really dis-identified with being feminine, and it was actually a bad thing in my eyes. Then I read the book "Pussy" by Regena Thomas-Hauer, and am connecting to my inner GPS, and I am really surprised by what is coming out. Like me picking super girly things, and identifying with feeling like a princess, and liking it. I am moving into my true heart space. Its a place I have always wanted to be. It feels like love all the time :) I'm getting teary eyed as I type this. Because I am so grateful to be here, and because I'm sad that I didn't understand what this was until now. I have all these wonderful things and I actually believe that I deserve it. This is such a giant accomplishment for me, and I need to celebrate with you. This bed is like a trophy of the emotional confronting marathon that I have been "running" for the past three years. And now I am experiencing they pay-off.
Whatever you have going on in your life, if you are doing and feeling great, awesome! Keep celebrating, keep it up! If you are having a hard time, please keep tuning into your heart, keep doing the things that make you feel happier or better, keep meditating, doing yoga, facing yourself, and keep doing affirmations. And yes, please celebrate all of your successes, no matter how tiny. Each time you celebrate your success, you open the door for more celebration within yourself, and those around you. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand, but its true, so just believe me until you start to see it for yourself.
I want this love for everyone. And its 100% possible.
I'd like to share some of my habits that I do believe contribute to my health. Inspired from my previous article "Ugh Sick AGAIN?!?" So here it is:
Pursue something you love (for me its this blog, and many other things)
Commit a certain percentage of your income to a rainy day fund - I have several different accounts for different things, every time I get a raise I raise my contribution a little. Even if its just 1%, this will accumulate quicker than you can imagine.
Choose one tiny aspect that you can improve you diet every month. Right now for me, this is eating raw one day a week. I'm already vegan gluten free (80% of the time).
Drink more water. I do still drink water for 5 consecutive minutes, but now, I've also started drinking a full glass of water before I get in the shower, cleans with in and without!
Spend time outside. However that might be for you, eat lunch outside, walk to do errands, if possible, garden, go for walks as exercise...
Sleep in. I always allow myself to sleep in on my days off. Being a flight attendant is very physically and emotionally demanding, ever since I started always sleeping in on my days off I almost never get sick.
Meditate, journal, just be still.
Commit to personal growth. I am constantly working on myself, facing my beliefs/doubts/limitations/emotions.
Set time aside for happiness, play, or simple pleasures, everyday.
I'm constantly working on myself, tweaking and questioning what works best for me. I very strongly believe that the smaller the change or commitment, the more permanent it will be. Maybe some of these will work for you, maybe they won't. We are all different, and that is wonderful. But if you want some changes in your life, and have no idea where to start or feel stuck, maybe one of my habits will provide inspiration for you.
Sending love, Jessica
This winter season has been a rough season for many people. So many parents have complained that their kids have been sick non stop this year, and that each flu, cold, or episode has been worse than the last. I would agree, I do think viruses are becoming stronger. Afterall, they are an organism trying just as hard as we are to survive. While I don't like it either, these viruses are doing everything in their microbe power to ensure evolution and survival too.
Looking back to my own childhood, I used to really like being sick. It was a time that I was allowed to watch all the TV I wanted, rest, and get extra love from my mom. She would make delicious soup, and she was extra caring. While I wasn't conscious of this at age 7, looking back being sick was nice. Comparing how "things used to be" to now. I think its safe to say that there is significantly more stress in all of our lives now, compared to "before". Or maybe just in my social circle. What if being sick was actually a good thing? And I'm talking about common colds and flus, not serious diseases that require months to years of medical attention, and normally include surgery as a cure. But maybe there is a correlation too... So what if being sick was actually a good thing? When we are sick and allow our bodies to fight off what ever is going on inside us actually makes us stronger, so that we don't catch that strain again. Does anybody remember when parents would bring their kids to play with another kid when they had chicken pox? That used to be a common thing, because once they got the chicken pox, yes it was painful, but then we would never get it again in our life because our bodies now knew that virus strain, and developed anti-bodies against chicken pox.
What is going on when we are sick? We are slow, achy, and usually can only muster enough energy to sleep, read, or watch TV. What if that is what we need? I have noticed that life has become so fast paced. There is a constant need to achieve, strive, develop or accomplish. A lot of us are stretching ourselves so thin in time, jam packed schedules, and our budget/finances. Parents hate it when their kid is sick, maybe for different reason, but often jumping to Tylenol or other pain relievers/fervor reducers. I'm not saying these are bad, but maybe we shouldn't jump to these quick fixes so easily. When we are sick, the single best thing for our bodies is rest and hydration. I am a very strong believer that it is not possible to get sick if we are fully hydrated and fully rested. Maybe when we do get sick, this is our body saying "I need a break."
From being a flight attendant, and working at a preschool, and occasionally babysitting; I'm exposed to a lot of viruses. And I don't remember the last time I was sick. I think it has been over two years. While I defiantly have my own stressors (see the article about my habits). I do see a lot of different lifestyles. I see parents that are overworked, and don't spend "enough" time with their kids. I say "enough" because the kids are often unsatisfied with how much (little) time they spend with their parents. I've seen kids, being angry at one or both parents. I've seen kids cry for me or another teacher, rather than their parents, because they don't feel comfort from their parents, they are literally with me more waking hours in the week than either one of their parents. I see my friends, and myself, loading my schedule with work so that I/we can "get ahead." Almost everyone I know and talk to, is cutting it really close with their finances, almost nobody has a reserve. Most of us are just barely surviving, or even living on or credit cards, like some of my family members. And our diet! Oh man, what we eat is so important. I'm noticing that more and more people are developing allergies that they didn't have before. Myself included. I've developed a gluten allergy. Maybe I was always allergic and didn't notice, but now the physical reactions are painful. While I do typically eat very healthy, this week, I decided to try to eat more raw food. I have so much less flem! I know that's gross I'm sorry. But I think that so many of us are going so fast that we just reach for whatever is close, and very often that is something processed and packaged.
But when we are sick, how do we treat ourselves? We slow down, we take naps, we eat more soup, fruits and vegetables. We just focus on feeling better. I don't know if you've ever noticed, but if you feel stressed out, and want to feel better already!!!! Doesn't it seem to linger on forever? Sometimes even more than a month. Talk about annoying!
I'd like to encourage you to slow down, allow time for rest, allow time for happiness. Work on incorporating more fruits and vegetables into our daily diets, and work on reducing financial obligations, so that there can be a rainy day fund, a few months of bills for backup, or maybe even pay off some outstanding debts.
I do think that getting sick is just a symptom of what's going on in our lives, and maybe its not such a bad thing to be forced to rest. Its an opportunity for us to re-evaluate and check in, AND a chance for our bodies to become stronger.
Wishing you love, happiness, and Health in 2017 and beyond!
A few months ago I wrote about drinking water for five minutes straight to see what would happen. I imagined it would be a positive habit to try on. I've been consistent with my idea and I like the benefit!
I simply set my timer, sit down and focus on drinking water for the entire 5 minutes. I do get a little full of water... But I have noticed that I feel more hydrated, if there was a tickle in my throat it goes away, and over the course of a week, I noticed my skin got better. I feel like I've even been sleeping better. In general I just feel better through out the day :) Yes I continue to drink water as I normally would through out the day too :) Personally I think there is more benefit to do this in the beginning of the day, but I'll do it at night as well.
I'd like to encourage you all to try it too. Or pick a new habit that you can do for 5 minutes or less. What would you pick? Always eat a fruit or vegetable before you eat anything else? Do 5 minutes or planks, sit ups and squats? Meditating? Just focus on your breathing and breath as deeply as you can for 5 minutes? This one I like to do in the car, since I'm just sitting there, lol.
E-mail me or comment below on a habit you love, picked up from someone else, or are trying out.
I'd love to see what works for you!
Good morning ladies and gentlemen! If adding 5 minutes of something new into your morning routine made your day better and made you feel better immediately would you do it?
I was feeling extremely sluggish this morning. This is a common thing for me, and something that I would like to be different. I've mentioned doing yoga before, so I took my own advice and put on some Yoga with Adriene, found on youtube. She is my go to for yoga, though there are many other great videos and Yogi's. I did a 5 minute video and I feel SO much better. While I'm still taking it easy, I'm not feeling as sluggish, like a blob that just can't bring her self to stop melting into the floor. The other thing I really love about these short 5 minute videos, is that they are amazing transition tools, when you want to unwind or re-energize. There is something meditative about yoga, and following a video allows your mind to be focused on something else and re-center. Hope you like it!
Here are a few videos from her 5 minute series (LOVE!)
If you're ever in a pinch and want to create a really amazing salad, or just want to mix things up a bit. Try honey mustard dressing. Nam nam nam, its amazing. I learned about how to make this dressing from Sandy, a friend in Australia. I was hesitant to try it because I don't like mustard. You don't go to the store to buy it... Make it yourself! Honey Mustard dressing is so simple and DELICIOUS!
All you need is:
To make Honey mustard dressing, you just get a glass or bowl, and add equal parts of honey, olive oil, and mustard. Mix, then add seasonings and adjust to taste. The seasonings I added today were salt and a chili lime blend. But just salt and pepper or paprika also go really well. (As you can see I shop at trader joes :) but you can use which ever brand suits you)
Prepare the salad how ever you like. I love to put everything I have in the house, but I will always try to put at least 5 things in the salad. From when I decided to make a salad, to sitting down and eating took me 20 minutes. And the only reason it took so long is because after I finished making the salad I decided "maybe shrimp would be a good idea". I pulled out the frozen shrimp and cooked a few pieces.
Today in this salad, I put lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, frozen peas, sunflower seeds, and cooked frozen shrimp (these last three are all good sources of protein). If I have avocado or guacamole, I will always add avocados!
What is the point of worrying? For some reason I find myself worrying. What does worrying do for me? It’s a form of brainstorming/figuring things out, but really the only way to truly figure things out is to actually try it. Its like research. I need to truly do my research and then I can make a good decision. I can’t actually make a good decision right now. I need to try it out, give it a real shot, then I will know. And I will just know. It will be loud and clear if it is a yes or a no. I have had loud and clear no's. It did hurt. But I am ok now. And in some ways I'm more prepared for the next thing. A little bit more clear on what I want. A little more clear on what I was overlooking for myself, for the things that are important to me. Also part of the reason that it did hurt is that I was overlooking things that are very important to me. I was trying to force something that wasn’t ready to be, or even right to be. Is that what I want? For something to be for me that is actually wrong for me? NO. I want something that is truly for me, uplifting, inspiring, and natural. For that to happen I need to be more allowing, forgiving. I need to invest in my own happiness. Because there I will find what fits in with my happiness. When I am forcing something, it is fitting in, sort of, to what is going on at the moment. And if that’s not where I want to be, then how can I expect it to change into what I want it to change into, especially if I am not even 100% clear on what exactly I want. I think I know exactly what I want. But then wasn’t I forcing it to mold into what I thought I wanted? Yes. How would that ever last??? I was forcing it to be something it wasn’t. That's too much effort against the grain, that's not what I want. I want it to be easy. To be natural. So then I need to practice loving myself. So then it's easy for it to be there in the space that is actually available. And that is how the whole world is. Everything is a relationship. I have a relationship with money. I have a relationship with my jobs, I have a relationship with men. I have a relationship with one man – at a time. I have a relationship with each of my family, and with myself. So then won’t all of these relationships be better if I focus on the one that I have the most control over? I literally can choose things all day long that make me the happiest. Everything is a choice. Normally its between two things, sometimes three. But I can choose each time the one that would best support my happiness. And that would position me for the most favorable relationships that I want. I want more money. Isn’t it easier to accept more money when I am happy? Yes. And its easier to feel the joy of more money when I am happy. It just raises my happiness barometer even higher. Like having my own apartment. I am so happy. And my happiness can continue to grow. I can eventually be so full I overflow. And somedays I am that happy that I overflow. I love it. And its ok that its not everyday. I am learning. Its ok that I fluctuate quite a bit. Right now things are very exciting. Its wonderful. And at the same time I am having a hard time relaxing. That is how I have always been. Its ok. For now it takes me a little time to get used to my dreams being reality. To trust that my dreams are going to happen. Its ok. I have practiced not trusting for a very long time. Of course it will take practice. Its ok. There is nothing wrong with me for that. I love you Jessica. I’m still here. I’m not mad at you for anything. I’m just ready for when you need me, and when you are relaxed I am pulling strings to bring your dreams into alignment. Its all ok. Its all alright. Things are changing. Things are not going to be the same. And that is good. Your dreams are coming true. Faster than you know. Or rather than you can understand. Try to trust me, try to let go. Good job today. The day is now over. Its ok to stop thinking. Its ok to say good night to the world. Just because you stop thinking about it doesn’t mean it stops happening. There is nothing you can do to keep your dreams away. The universe truly does know the best, fastest, and most enjoyable way to bring it all to you, some of the things you didn’t even know to ask. The universe works best when you let go and trust it. It loves to surprise you and shower you with gifts that it knows you will love. But its no fun if you keep constantly peeking. You have children in your future. Your own children, that you gave birth to. You have an incredible husband. Who loves you more than anything he has ever know in his life. You have wonderful friends, and you are close with your family. You love your life. And the best thing you can do tonight is let go. TRUST. And then tomorrow, do things that make you feel love. That’s it. Its simple. But its not what you are used to, and that is ok, the universe understands this will take some practice for you, and is patient. And will continue to encourage you. You have always been given support when you truly needed it, even though you would doubt, because that is what you thought would create a safety net for you. But things are changing. Doubt did serve a purpose for you once. It did help you raise your game, your standards. And that’s great. Thank you. Now its ok to let go, to practice something else. Letting go doesn’t mean your quality or work ethic will go down, you have mastered that. That skill isn’t going anywhere. Now is manifestation time. It’s a fun time, it’s a powerful time, and its new. That’s ok. Its ok that it takes practice. Just keep trying, just like you always have. Exactly the way you are is perfect. There is a very good reason you are the way you are. Somebody needed you to be this way desperately. For now there is no need to decide. When the time is right each decision will be loud and clear, just like they always have been. Except now you are growing stronger, and the stress of decisions will not be there. Sort of like its getting easier.
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!