Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't? Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you? I know I have plenty of times. 9 times out of 10 its anxiety. It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion. With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety." I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety. My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.
This technique is simple. You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.
So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:
Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs. This is a safe space for you to come up. I am sorry I have always pushed you down. It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing. My beliefs about pain are changing. I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say. You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
When I meditate about the relationship that I want. I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over. It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly. Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me? Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too. When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died. I am here to protect you. What if I found a relationship that didn’t end? That is not true all things end. What if things transformed rather than ended? That is ok. Alright. So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok. Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed. That is ok. You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore. I will listen to you when you come up. I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires. Ok, I appreciate that.
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing. My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
What a turning point for me! I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like. If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less. Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!