Heart Portrait - Splinter

In continuation of Blue Heart.  I am trying to draw every day, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as I do it for at least 5 minutes.  So today when I sat down, I pulled out my drawing book, and I chose pastels (again, they are my favorite).  My favorite thing to do is to scribble, then highlight what you see, usually with the intention of drawing a face.  I will use this method for designing as well.  But I decided to draw a heart again.  Then decided to try to draw what it looks like right now.  I think that I did a good job, although I don't know how pretty this one is.  But in drawing it, I understand much better what is going on in my heart.  This is where I feel the most things, in reference to meditation, and inner child work...

So its mostly happy and passionate.  The blue is a cover for saddness.  Deep in the center there is a tiny hurt, like a splinter.  I have been trying to see this and heal it for a very long time, but when I try to look at it in meditation I fall asleep.  I have been dating someone, and I can see that I will fall for him,  but I think that is already happening.  While I am happy, I am equally if not more, freaking out, feeling past hurts, and shooting up walls.  He calls me on it, and demands that I explain what going on to him.  That is exactly what I have always wanted, no guy has ever noticed or cared to understand.  And the fact that he can see it, and wants to talk about it makes me so vulnerable.  I'm on the verge of tears just writing about it, and this blog is annomys!  Well unless you already know my art. And this splinter becomes sharp, like a pulsing heartbeat...  What is it that you want to tell me sharp very burried hurt?  It says don't leave me.  What if I didn't leave you?  What if you came with?  Wow, it got quiet, and said ok.
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I understand this article probably made the least sense.  It kind of turned into a journal entry, where often I personify parts of myself, and have conversations with myself.  There aren't very good transitions from the thoughts that I want to share with you all, to the conversations with myself.  But I'm not going to change it.  If you would like to send in your heart portrait, I would love to see it!  I'll post anyone's authentic heart portrait.  I'd also encourage you to do it everyday, or as often as you can.  Just like the Blue Heart, I was feeling sad, but then it turned out so pretty, that I wasn't sad anymore, I actually became very happy, and felt a feeling of being inlove - I think its very easy to be inlove with things, moments, art, life... not just in a relationship.

You can e-mail me at                  5minutesistheway@gmail.com
(5 minutes is the way)

​Heart you, Jessica

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