I love you...r band-aid

​Today's article is a comentary on little girl named Lilly.  I just met her for one day.  She is my brother's, roomate's, brother's daughter. How is that for he said she said!  Since it is unlikely I will ever see her again, I think it's ok to write about her, or rather the the truth of humanity that I experienced with her.

I LOVE kids, its normal for them to become glued to me within minutes of meeting them.  I am used to this now, and only my mom knows this will always happen when there are kids around.  And so yes, this 3 1/2 year old and I were best friends for the night.  This is so sweet and wonderful, and I love it every single time, I never get sick of kids.  I think they know that I love them, and that's what enables them to open up so quickly.  We colored together, span around in a chair, even as an adult being spun is so fun; we decorated the christmas tree, and played like dogs.  She was "A Molly Dog"  I was "A Mom Dog"  named by Lilly.

We were having so much fun, and in one moment, she came up to me, and half tried to sit in my lap, half tried to hug me, and said "I love you...r band-aids."  This makes me laugh so hard, and yet is one of the sweetest things ever.  After a few hours she had decided that she loved me, and yet an element of our collective "growing up" which is also a bit self rejecting, showed up.  She said she loved me, and rather quickly (especially for a three year old) corrected herself to not show her feelings.  What is wrong with showing our feelings?  What is wrong with loving someone within hours of meeting them?  I'm still laughing at how cute this was.  

Personally I am one of those people that still loves people within hours of meeting them too, sometimes there is some type of connection, and it happens within minutes.  And yet, I do everything I can to hide that I love them (especially when it comes to romance).  It comes from a complete fear that it won't be returned, and therefore I will look stupid for loving someone that doen't love me back.  This moment with Lilly, was very fitting for what is going on in my personal life.  I can see that I already love the guy that I have been talking too.  And yes, it is very quick to "love" someone.  I can feel the fear of him running for the hills if I said those words; yet, I don't know how he can't see it.  Just like this little girl who wanted all of my attention last night, I want all of his attention daily.  I can see, how in the moments when I let it peek through, when I am not paying attention, there is a distancing.  Which hurts.  When did showing love become a bad thing?  And what can we do to allow more love to radiate from our own hearts, and accecpt love from others, even strangers that we just met.  I think that we all long to be as open, genuine, accecpted as a 3 year old. 

Right as I am trying to find the words to conclude my thoughts, which I can't, one of the dogs nuzzles her head in my lap for a hug.  I hug her back as I say out loud "I love you too."

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