Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
Does this question apply to you? Do you sometimes, or maybe even often feel drained and you don't understand why. Most likely you are an empath like me, and you absorb people's energy. So then the real question is:
How Do I Stop Absorbing People's Energy?
This was a questions I had about 6 months ago, and just realized that I've figured it out, and found a solution that works for me (a combination of one to all a day depending on how I feel), and want to share it with you!
1. Meditate -
Make it a point to meditate at least once during the day, maybe two or three times a day. You can meditate from three hours, to just 5 minutes. Its the easiest and cheapest energy boosting thing that you can do! And you can meditate anywhere. There are hundreds of approaches to meditating, from sitting in silence with a still mind, to following the bouncy thoughts that seem to become louder as we become quiet. You can also look up guided meditations on youtube. Because there is such an endless abundance of styles, and guided meditations, try a new one out from youtube every day for a week and find the one that feels the best to you. The point is feeling good, so if it feels good follow that.
2. Drink Water -
Being dehydrated is the number one reason for feeling physical fatigue. A while ago I decided to try drinking water for a consecutive 5 minutes. I'd set my timer and focus on drinking water the entire time. My stomach would get really full, but I felt so much better the rest of the day, and noticed that my sleeping also improved. Now I drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning, before I get in the shower (sometimes those are the same thing, so then I'd only drink one glass), and I bring a large water bottle with me everywhere I go, and when I am going somewhere that I know will have a bathroom, like home, a friends house, a restaurant... I'll try to finish the bottle of water before I get there, and refill it, and repeat this the entire day. When I am good about it I see a very noticeable difference in my energy levels.
3. Read -
Cary a book with you, and read when ever you can. You can read anytime you are waiting in line, or waiting to pick up your kids... Or make it a point to sit and read for at least 10 minutes during the day. Read a book you enjoy that makes you laugh, feel happy, or optimistic.
4. Realize that we are all on our own path -
As an empath I know that it is very natural to notice when someone is not doing well, or even just able to see that they could be doing better - AND then feel like it is our responsibility to "help" them. But its not. Its not our responsibility to help them, and it may actually mess up their path, or what ever lesson they are meant to learn by their hardship. Who knows, they may not every think what they are going through is a hardship! This is not to say to be mean and ignore people or let them suffer, but just realize its not your responsibility. I know us empaths, have a tenancy to take on people's problems and make it our own, but that does not actually help anybody. Leading to the next one...
5. Focus on filling up your own cup -
This was quite an abstract idea for me. But do things that make yourself feel good. Make your home beautiful, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, do a yoga class, dress nice, take a nap, watch a movie.... What ever makes you feel good is what needs to happen more often during your day. This does not have to cost money, its just a shift in where you place your effort. If this sounds like too big of an idea just make it a point to do something that makes you happy or maybe even just releases stress 5 minutes a day. Gradually increase it, you will see your life change :)
6. Realize that everything revolves around love -
Everything we do, the choices we make are in relationship to love. Weather or not we think we deserve love. How successful we want to be is in relationship to love, either we think we have to be successful to get love, keep love, or protect our selves from getting hurt. Some of us are successful because we love what we do. Which is ideal, but then that is saying that we deserve to be happy and are deserving to love our lives. Some of us might not want "success" because we think we will loose love. So when you interact with a jerk, remember that they are just acting out their anger, that they don't deserve love, on you. Please don't talk about this to random people, especially the "angry" type of people, they are likely to react harshly. But do pay attention and observe. Notice your self, and the choices you've made over the years. Did you choose a certain degree because your parents would be proud of you? Its an abstract idea but I do believe that noticing things in this light helps me to not take things personally and make other people's problems my own. Now I feel more compassion for others, rather than being annoyed at them for having bad energy.
7. Yoga -
Exercise in general is great. Personally I think its fun, but there have been many studies that say exercise boosts our energy levels. But yoga in particular I find to be very grounding (centering) and thus feeling more energized. Again like most of the ideas above you can do yoga for as little as 5 minutes and feel the benefits, or you could take a yoga class. Personally I absolutely love hot yoga (Bikram) but if you don't have the time a yoga class may not suit you for that day. But youtube (my favorite!) has hundreds of yoga videos to choose from. If you want to look at my favorites check out the "wellness" category on the right hand side of this web page.
Just a side note, if you have not done hot yoga before, please tell the instructor before taking the class, you can even call the studio and ask for suggestions before signing up, and make sure to drink LOTS of water, I normally drink 2-4 liters of water, before, during & after. At least one liter before the class always. It is a tough class, but I absolutely love how I feel afterwards.
I hope one or all of these help you feel more energized! I realized that in noticing my own progress, I was looking for a one time solution, but that doesn't exist for this. It will always be a work in progress.
Sending you love!
Hello, Parents, Guardians, and Care Takers!
I know how frustrating the battle of trying to get your child to clean up their room can be. Depending on how resistant the child may be you may have to break it down even more. But I'd like to share what has worked for me.
Some awesome tools anytime a child is resistant (or even for yourself) to anything is to set a timer. Lets say your child's room is a disaster, the bed is not made, you didn't even know they had this much toys and you can barely see the floor underneath, and that pile of clothes, well you are really not sure, but you're betting its dirty. And you try so hard to get them to put dirty clothes in the hamper!?!
Depending on the age, how messy their room is, and their resistance, using a timer is a fantastic tool. If they are super resistant, it may be a good idea to help them. If you do help them, I'd make it a "race" to see who can pick up the most things, or let them be the "boss" and let them tell you what they want help with. DO NOT do anything on your own or for them, this will just teach them that if they act helpless, or act out enough that they don't really have to do it.
If you really have no idea how long it might take, or not clear on their resistance level, I'd start at 10 minutes for ages 6-8, younger, 5 minutes, and older I'd start with 20 minutes. Put the timer somewhere that they can see it count down, and then set a goal. For example "Lets see if we can get this floor 100% clean before the timer goes off!"
Then when the timer goes off or you get the floor clean celebrate, give them a high five, let them pick a fun game to play with you, or even take a picture of them showing off their clean room. The celebration part is important, you want them to recognize their own success, and be in that moment with them of feeling proud.
Then to truly improve their habits, each time they change activities make sure they clean up what they are now finished with, you can set a timer for 5 minutes, or just make sure they put it all away. Again this depends on how big the mess is and their resistance level. Or maybe at bed time, right before reading stories, now you/they spend 5 minutes tidying up their room. Just make it a new daily habit, however it works best for you.
I do this for myself too, right before getting ready for bed, I spend 10 minutes tidying up my home, however it may be, filing away some papers, finishing up something I was working on earlier in the day, finishing up dishes that I didn't have a chance to finish earlier... If I'm that on top of everything that day, I will spend those 10 minutes doing something to prepare myself for the next day.
Make this a consistent habit, and you will see an improvement; There will be less struggles, and more happiness and hugs!
With love, Jessica
Today I'd like to thank Charlie, a 13 year old boy, who's excitement to be a pilot just could not be contained. If any emotion could be jumping out of a person's body, excitement was jumping out of Charlie today. I loved it, thank you! So here is a note to Charlie:
You are going to be awesome, I cannot wait for you to be living your dreams! And in addition to that, anything else that you want is 100% possible too, the sky is the limit. And anybody that tells you it isn't possible, just doesn't know, or doesn't believe in their own dreams, so don't listen to them. Thank you, for being you, thank you for being on my flight, and sharing your enthusiasm and excitement with me! You know most pilots knew they wanted to be pilots at a very young age just like yourself. And some of them even started working as a pilot before age 20, so go for it. Its all out there waiting for you, and if you come across a fork in the road, or something you don't know or understand yet, I hope you remember that just because you don't know doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is always a solution, there is always a way. Thought I doubt that you'll run into many detours.
Wishing you all the best,
To everybody else, I hope that there is something in your life that makes you as excited as a 13 year old looking at their dreams, and knowing its their future, and so excited, you wish you were there already. If not, I dare you to try something, anything different today. That is the single best way I know to shake things up and bring on a new perspective, or make us more open to new possible dreams. For me its inspiring others, especially kids, and helping them find their way to their dreams.
Love to all
You know when you're just having a kind of rough or sluggish day? Or maybe you are stressed out because you have way too much on your plate, and can't get the thought "how am I going to get all of this done today?!?"
Yesterday was kind of a sluggish day for me, I had a lot to do, but I had such a hard time peeling myself up and getting myself to do anything. I was feeling very unproductive and it was frustrating me. I acknowledged my frustration, and decided to apply my own philosophy. Just 20 minutes at a time to my day.
I set my alarm for 20 minute intervals, and decided what I would do for the next 20 minutes. Each block of 20 minutes I'd do something physically different to the last 20 minutes. So for example I would deal with something from work that really needed to get done on the computer for 20 minutes, then I exercised for 20 minutes (I love revfit on youtue), then I took care of something else on the computer, then I cleaned my apartment.... And voila, I am feeling productive, more energized, and I actually took care of some things that were really stressing me out.
Doing things at 20 minute intervals started in high school. I had a really hard time focusing when it came to studying, and I learned that if I set the timer for a short interval, and I knew it would end soon, I was able to focus. This has also worked very well for kids when I used to nanny and would do homework, personally I think for younger kids 10 minutes is a good interval. Its long enough to get something done, but its a short enough amount of time that they understand and know will not "take forever."
The added bonus of doing things in 20 minute intervals, is that because I know it will end soon, there is a competitive side of me that comes out, and wants to see how much I can get done. So in essence, I end up working faster :)
On days that I am feeling sad, I'll alternate the things I do with emotional value. So for example, I'll curl up in my bed or read, then I'll do something "I need to do," then I'll color, then back to something "I need to do" and so on. This often helps me to feel better, because I removed things that were stressing me out from my "list", but I also allowed myself to just be in whatever mood I was in, which is very healing.
I hope this idea brings some ease into your life. I'd love to hear how treating the day with one 20 minute interval at a time works for you!
Greetings Summer friends,
I apologize I have been gone for a while. Anyway, I hope everyone has been enjoying their summer. Personally when summer comes around, I try to spend as much time as possible outside. Enjoying the outdoors, and the heat is what makes summer for me, a day in a dress or a bikini means I had a good day :) What makes it a good summer for you?
So this month my goal has been to have no goals. No agenda, just let go on priorities, and accomplishments. This was a surprisingly hard "goal" for me to accept, and to my surprise has been super liberating! In having "no goal" for the month, I have actually accomplished a lot more, and enjoyed more life, like friends, my home, being alone, reading.... And when I am hanging out with friends I noticed that I am more present. And the biggest thing of all I just have more energy in general. I was telling my coach, Rebecca, that I felt very sluggish and weighed down. I didn't know what to do, she suggested giving up on goals for a month. I was so resistant. That sounded backwards to me. How will I accomplish anything if I have no goals??? As it turns out, it was the opposite.
In this process of "giving up on goals" I learned quite a bit about myself. I realized that I was judging myself for what I did or didn't accomplish. I realized (again) that I have been brushing over my wins, or accomplishments, and rushing on to the next thing. In a sense stealing my own wind. It has also helped to anchor in that life is just a forever work in progress, so its ok to let go of the "finish line", because when I get there I will create a new one. While goals are important, its equally important to celebrate every win, no matter how tiny. This is something I am working on too. Here's to celebrating bigger and loosening up on goals!
Would giving up on goals for one month shake things up a bit for you? I would have said no, until I tried it. Please continue to pay all your bills, and take care of the essentials; but I encourage you to let go of goals for one month, and just watch what happens!
Important things to note:
What do you find yourself doing most often?
What feelings do you notice popping up?
And after one month has passed what did you end up accomplishing?
After this month is over, take these questions and use what you noticed to make tiny modifications in your life, you'll enjoy a more satisfying life! And that is the point, personal satisfaction, since we are forever works in progress.
With love, Jessica
Today's article is inspired by the book I'm currently reading "YOU Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero and a little conversation I had while flying. On page 238 Jen Sincero is talking about setting honest goals. This is something I already do, and what this blog is all about (feeling proud of myself, tehehe). BUT this book has got me thinking "How can I make my life absolutely amazing? What can I do in my life to literally spring out of bed?" I know these questions are a forever work in progress... BUT I asked the girls I'm working with, "what is something that you could do everyday that would make your life better?" You never know, they may give me some great ideas or insight :) One girl said she could purge something from her house every day. I agreed, I can also do that, and I imagine it would make my life better as well. The other girl said she could laugh more everyday. I don't know why, but I grabbed her and started fake laughing, hahaha, it was only a matter of seconds before we both started really laughing. Both of these girls did give me insight and ideas! I too, could also use a little more laughter in my life, even if its fake laughing, and tossing something each day that no longer serves me would leave me physically lighter, ready for whatever new thing may serve me better, even if that just means more space :) and less to clean!
So what is something that you can do every day that would make your life better?
I would really love to hear from you! You can send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or comment below!
Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't? Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you? I know I have plenty of times. 9 times out of 10 its anxiety. It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion. With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety." I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety. My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.
This technique is simple. You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.
So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:
Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs. This is a safe space for you to come up. I am sorry I have always pushed you down. It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing. My beliefs about pain are changing. I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say. You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
When I meditate about the relationship that I want. I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over. It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly. Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me? Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too. When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died. I am here to protect you. What if I found a relationship that didn’t end? That is not true all things end. What if things transformed rather than ended? That is ok. Alright. So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok. Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed. That is ok. You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore. I will listen to you when you come up. I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires. Ok, I appreciate that.
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing. My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
What a turning point for me! I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like. If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less. Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.
Hello Shoot for the stars goal setters, "I'll never get there types" and everyone in between;
What are your goals right now? Comment or post below!
And what is your reward for achieving that goal? You might say, the reward is that I won't have that debt anymore. Or It's so far away, why do I need a reward; Rewards are childish, I'm an adult. Or maybe even, it'll never happens, so what's the point?
All of these examples are typical and reasonable responses when I ask my friends and family about their goals, and then the reward... For some reasons its easy for people to say their goals, most of the times its obvious, like wanting to pay off all of your debt. But then when I ask about the reward. I have to painstakingly extract it out of them.
Personally I've always loved setting goals, but never gave much thought to a reward, or that I should or even deserved a reward. After just achieving a GIANT financial goal, I can tell you a reward is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. It was Frank Bettger's book, "How I Raised myself from Failure to Success in Selling" that introduced the concept of having a reward when achieving your goals. I decided to try the concept on, while I was saying "Paying off the debt I owed my mom would be more than enough" I decided that my reward would be a head to toe brand new outfit of the season, not to exceed $1,000. So I saved, along with paying off my mom. This goal seemed so far away I didn't think I'd be able to do it anytime soon. But I remembered in the book, he says the reward is almost more important than the goal. So I kept saving, and didn't touch than money. I kept chipping away and the debt, sometimes only $5 at a time.
From when I decided to get serious about paying off the debt, it took less than a year. I though for sure, it would take much longer than that, I was thinking two or three years. I just couldn't see the end in sight, and sometimes I got tired of being so tight with my finances. But I never gave it. I paid a minimum of 1% of every paycheck as additional payment towards what I owed, and continued with all of my normal bills and savings. And then the day came! May 1, 2017. I was doing my monthly financial stats, and I realized I had the money. I froze, I agonized, I went back and forth. Then I paid off the last $2,000 from my savings (this is a large amount for me), and then I sat in awe and shock with a perma-grin approaching midnight for about 20 minutes. HOLLY $Cow$!!! I did it, it seemed so far away, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I am shopping for my head to toe outfit. And it feels amazing, each time I walk into a store, I breath in my accomplishment, and relish in that feeling of deserving, that I deserve to shop and find my perfect outfit, I deserve to be in these beautiful stores, that I used to never enter. I know it sounds trivial, but I have to agree with Mr. Bettger, the reward is just as important as the goal. Because its living in that space of "deserving." Deserving is a weird concept for most of us. We were trained to do what we "should" do. We are trained not to indulge; and while excessive indulging can get in the way of what you truly want, I think that we as a society have taken this questioning our deserving a little too far - often we feel shame, or bad about enjoying. Deserving doesn't mean taking, but it does mean to relish in the love, freedom, abundance, or goodness that you want. Further more the reward anchors in your accomplishment. I can see within myself I am now ready and more excited to take on bigger goals. I have more faith in myself. And now when I set rewards for my goals, even if they are small, I noticed that I work faster.
So what are your goals? Go ahead make it big. Make it so big you don't even understand how it will happen :)
And then... Pick your reward :) Make it a BIG REWARD.
And then one reward at a time your life is transformed,
Much love <3
Hello Vegan Gluten Free Enthusiasts!
I'd like to share a super easy and healthy meal to cook in about 20 minutes.
All you need is
Mushrooms, Broccolini, Leeks, & Garlic (because I can't eat without garlic!)
The quantity depends on how many people will eat and how much each one eats, personally I always have to cook for two because I eat that much!
For cooking rice, I cook it the Brazilian way, so I add the quantity of rice, garlic and olive oil fry it a little then add the water. When cooking rice always add double the amount of water to rice. So for example one cup of rice, two cups of water. Once you've added the water, as soon as it boils, turn down the heat to a low simmer (for those of you that have an electric stove, about a "2" is good). When there is no more water, but the rice isn't burnt yet, its ready. And don't worry if you burn the pan, for my first ten years of cooking I would burn the rice every time. To clean it, you just let the pan soak.
Delicious Alternative: For the rice, I used half water, and half vegetable broth & white wine. Try it :)
Then I cooked the mushrooms and garlic in a pan first (these two take a bit longer to cook, and not as delicious on the raw side)... A minute or two before the rice was ready I added the chopped up broccolini and leeks. I like my veges on the crunchy side, so really I'm just heating them up. Season to taste. Since I already had an Italian theme going I used the "Everyday Seasoning" from Trader Joe's.
Bonus: this meal should cost under $5.
Hello incredible human beings!
Could you imagine what your life would be like if you were the healthiest, most vibrant, full of life version of yourself everyday?
Have you ever stopped to think about how incredible your body is? The human body is a magical work of design. Our body takes care of all these things and we don't even have to think about how it works! It regenerates, it fights diseases to make us better, it has cravings to get you the right nutrients, it eliminates toxins in a variety of ways. Our human bodies are truly incredible eco systems!
Today I am organizing my files - which I use binders to keep all of my papers organized. I just finished organizing the "Health" binder, and felt inspired to write this article. As you know I'm pretty keen on manifesting, so I wrote about health and what I want for my health. I'll write about what I want for each binder/subject, but I wanted to share my health vision with you, as I'm sure many people want the same.
I am healthy, I am full of energy!
I am healthy, I am vibrant!
I am healthy, I continuously expand my physical and mental capacity.
I am blissed out! Happiness is my norm.
I am continuously growing younger; regenerating into a better version of myself each day.
I completely and utterly love myself.
I am healthy, I enjoy all of my physical capabilities.
I am healthy, I am the example of what life is.
I am healthy! I am life!
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!