Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
I have not posted in a while. I think out of self judgement. When I write these articles I get so wrapped up in them, that often I end up not "starting" my day until noon or 1 pm. And so none of the ideas I was having was "good enough" to "waste" that much time. But I just had a gratitude epiphany, and want to share it.
About two weeks ago, I was exposed to some toxic fumes. I was at work, the area smelled bad, but I over looked it because we were in a rush. Until I was told to get off. About 10 minutes later I began to not feel that great, but I don't like complaining so I was not very loud about what I was experiencing. Later we get checked out my doctors and the doctors completely blow off the seriousness and sign me off as good to work again. During that week, I learn a little more, what all the potential side effects of this toxic exposure can cause, and I am terrified. Since that exposure, I had been doing every detox thing I can think of or that anybody I trust suggested. Thankfully my symptoms have gotten improved a little each day, and now I believe I will be OK. BUT because of this scare I have really been prioritizing my rest and health. I have not been pushing myself, and then just now as I was enjoying taking 30 minutes to cook my breakfast, and enjoy my tea, I realized that up until now it was never OK to rest, it caused anxiety that I was "wasting" time.
Now I am grateful for this exposure because it gave me permission to slow down, to sit here cuddled up with a warm blanket and a body pillow that makes me feel like I'm a child surrounded by all my lovies (stuffed animals). And I am truly enjoying it. I enjoy the comfort, I enjoy feeling like a child, that is being hugged by my lovies.
Relaxing is so important, we all "know" that - but I'm betting that there are more people similar to me than not - when you "do nothing" you are wasting time which could also be costly, if you're a time is money person. Because of this very scary thing, I took relaxing seriously, and now I do see the benefits. I am happier, I feel heard (because I'm listening to myself) and I feel love because I am allowing myself to feel like a child, and I'm seeing great creative solution, of which I have implemented. In my external world I met a guy that is so similar to me its funny, my finances are improving simply because I'm not spending as much money, my health is improving because I'm taking the time to cook and eat more vegetables, I feel the support from my supervisors who have taken what happened seriously, and I just feel more loved. Now I feel grateful that this happened.
I needed this bad and very scary thing to happen to me to give myself permission to rest. I needed to learn that its OK to do nothing, and just hug a pillow, otherwise I would probably have worn myself into the ground by not letting up.
Before you need something bad to happen to learn a lesson like I did, what can you do today to scale back a bit? Would that be to meditate, would it be to not answer e-mails after 4 pm? Maybe you too will pile pillows on your couch and snuggle up with a blanket and a good book, or a journal? I don't believe tv, social media, or surfing the internet is truly relaxing, because your mind is still doing something, and there is still a sense of achievement that is sought out, especially when surfing the internet, so just let the electronics stay off for a bit. Maybe you even start a thing at home where one night a week all electronics are turned off? Maybe you will let someone cook dinner or let a friend pick up the kids? Whatever it may be, pick something today even if its just 5 minutes that takes something off your plate, makes your life a bit easier; or just put everything on hold so you can do nothing. You are WAY more important than all of these other things that you "need" to do. So start practicing that today <3
Sending cuddles, Jessica
This heart portrait was a break through for me! And I'd like to share it with you. There are two parts.
As I was coloring this heart, one I didn't like that it was not shaped the right way - Not liking it when things in general aren't "perfect". Now I see this metaphor. Also coloring my heart this green, the color of my heart (check out a map of the chakras) I noticed all this emotion, it was confusing, intense and a little overwhelming, and there was some sadness. It was as if I was feeling all of the emotions at once. Maybe that is what is going on? Then as I colored over the pink and purple it became black. Just like the "Splinter." So its not actually pain, maybe its just a little bit of energy from a different area inside my heart? Pink is my throat and purple is my head. Yep, so they are in my heart because this is how I have coped for so long. Thinking my way to love and saying what I should. And all of the emotions that I'm feeling are overwhelming and bring me to tears often. WOW, what a big breakthrough! Its ok to feel all of these different emotions all at once. My heart kind of turned irridescent and shined while writing this <3 Like I just found its true power.
So I don't need to say what I should anymore. And I don't need to think my way to love anymore. Feeling everything is going to be uncomfortable for a little while. But this is where you will live your true power. I'm feeling so grateful to see this. I feel like the blind man in Amelie when she grabs him, helps him across the street, and describes everything in such detail that the man feels like he can see.
I'll paste the video below. Its one of my favorite scenes in any movie of all times. Its makes my heart smile and tears come to my eyes every time, as I can't stop smiling.
Here is only the heart.
Now, on the continuation of my drawing, I drew all the glowing, radiating, mingling energy that feels iridescent. Now I understand. And all these times that I feel sad or cry not totally clear of the reason, now I know its just so much emotion, its not lingering underlying depression. Though many of the emotions are sad, now I know that I experience many emotions at the same time, and it will take time for me to be comfortable with this. So I say good bye to you as I feel glowing just like the blind man in Amelie.
Sending love to all those affected, which is almost everyone in Northern California and a few counties in southern California.
Almost everyone in Northern California has a friend or family member that is in danger of these fires going on right now, if you are one of the lucky ones that has not been directly impacted. My heart goes out to you. First here are a few resources:
If you do have internet that you have most likely found somewhere that can help. And "help" is exactly what inspired me to write this article. There are so many people that are willing to and want to help. Yet to my friends that I have reached out to, my help has been denied. Now more than ever help is needed yet, many of us feel uncomfortable accepting help. We have become so independent and used to doing everything on our own, that it may be hard to accept or even ask for help.
While right now is a very big tragedy, there are many people that are coming together to support each other. This is the beautiful part. People are reaching out to check on each other whom have not talked in many years. And help is being offered in so many different ways. If you do need help, please ask, there are many people that want to help. Facebook has been an incredible resource.
So to my close friend: "I want to help however I can. I know how uncomfortable it makes you feel to even be in a position of needing help, but it hurts me to have my help be rejected. This is a horrible time, I really hope that you will not need to evacuate. I hope that it rains tonight. I love you, and if the way that I am offering help does not work, please tell me what does work. Please tell me what would be helpful. I will give you food, I will give you money, I offered to share my apartment. I want to help you, so please tell me what will help since my ideas were not good ones to you."
I know that this personal scenario is not uncommon, so please know there are people that love you, and even if they don't know you, there are many people that want to help. Reach out, those that can will be grateful to help, and that they are in a position to be able to help.
Until things have settled hope this yoga video brings a little peace, even if it only lasts 20 minutes.
Prayers and Love, Jessica
You know when you are feeling super stressed? Maybe because you have way too much going on at once, or because you bit off more than you can chew.
The physical symptoms of stress are your body pushing against expansion. Just like growing pains, don't know if you had those as a kid, I did, it really hurt. Some people are aware when they are in the midst of expansion, and some people are not. It feels like stress. I'd like to be vulnerable right now, and share with you that right now; I am doing a job that is stretching me, and its super uncomfortable!
Each time I come to work on this job I just noticed that I huff and puff and feel so stressed out. Yesterday I got a headache instantly because of how much doubt flooded my body. I noticed that I was feeling resentful towards my client who is "putting all this stuff on me." Now, putting all of it together I realize she's not, I realize I created this job for myself. Its something that I want to do more often in my future, yet I'm so resistant! Conversely when I do a good job, I feel elated, so lucky, so proud, and like "YES! I can do ANYTHING!"
We are all going through this in some way. While I'm not totally clear on the solution, maybe its just to acknowledge you're in the middle of expanding, it is uncomfortable, and that is ok. Its uncomfortable to go beyond and into something that you don't know. But that is how we grow. Because I just realized what was going on with me, I wanted to share it with you.
Just like everybody else you are either in the middle of expansion, or have been there before. You are not alone, although it sure does feel like it. And yes, there is also the fear of failure, but now realizing what is going on no matter what happens I have already grown, and can handle more than I was able to before taking on this job. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of you. So next time you are feeling stressed out, pause, take a breath, or five, and acknowledge that you are moving beyond what you knew, go you!
Today whatever you have going on, try to push your own limits in some way, any way. You will expand in more ways than you realize just from doing that one tiny thing today.
I am happy to report that I successfully stuck to only eating smoothies for the entire month of September.... Well around the middle of the month I had a few salads too :) But I loved it!
Here is what I learned about myself:
1. I just need to eat more fat.
2. When I have a craving its because I haven't eaten enough salt lately.
3. I'm not actually a bottomless pit, I was just not eating the right foods for me, and following these smoothie recipes bring nutrients into my life that I don't normally consume. After all why would you randomly crave goji berries when they are $8 a bag? Or eat a spoon of coconut oil? BUT now I know otherwise! I do have a very on the go lifestyle, and making a smoothie for me to drink as I drive was an amazing solution to getting the nutrients I needed without slowing down my pace. If anything it sped things up for me because I was properly fueled.
Now we are in a new month, so new goal! But smoothies are now integrated into my daily life. And not just a yummy smoothie with lots of fruit. I'll continue to follow the recipes, and load on the fattening ingredients! (and ps, I like my body better, both how I look and how I feel)
What is something that you could try out for the entire month? I encourage you to experiment. Can you commit to drawing everyday, drinking a specific amount of water everyday or complimenting someone everyday? Having fresh flowers in your entry way? Doing 100 sit-ups or push-ups? Doing something challenging/or scary everyday? Like going for a promotion, starting your own business, skydiving, telling the truth, rather than keeping peace at your expense?
For me... I've started going to an improve class, last night was the first session, and I have a 64 oz. juice container that I have filled with water, and will finish it everyday. I'd love to hear with shift you will commit to for the month of October!
Keeping inline with the new ritual that I have practiced over the past year with my coach Rebecca https://rebeccamassoud.com/ that at the beginning of each month, I take a look at my life, my goals, and what things would I like to release? And what would I like to move towards? Tomorrow is September 1, and because of a wonderful woman that I flew with I felt inspired to replace all of my meals with smoothies for the month of September! The original idea was juicing, but I don't have a juicer, so the next best thing is doing smoothies. I don't know why I'm so excited, but I'm betting I will see and feel some health benefits! And I imagine that I will save a little money in my overall food budget for the month, which would be nice.
While it may not work for you to do a type of detox diet like this for the entire month, what is one thing that you can replace in your day, for something more healthful or happy? Could you write for 10 minutes everyday? Maybe do a smoothie for breakfast everyday? Read rather than watch a TV show? Meet up with friends for a walk instead of a bar one day a week? Or instead of a family movie night, you go on a family hike? No matter where you are in your life we can all pick something to modify. Rather that "not" doing something, or cutting something out, I believe we should "add" or "replace" things into our lives. Again the smaller the tweak is, the more permanent it will be. So what new thing would you like to try out or incorporate into your life? Or what area of your life would you like to be different? Its a new month, pick something are stick to it for just one month! I know you'll be happy with the results <3
Update September 10th
Hello! I'm loving this month of smoothies and I just wanted to provide an update. Here is what I have noticed and learned about myself so far:
I'm way less congested, and in general just more clear. I breath easier, my skin is looking better and I just feel lighter.
Because I'm following the recipes I have begun to think that I just don't eat enough fat in my diet. To this day I've only met one person that eats as much as I do. I really don't like how much I eat sometimes, its time consuming and gets expensive! I eat like my 15 year old brother did, when he was training in football. While I do enjoy the benefits of my fast metabolism, sometimes I really don't like how starving I feel after having just ate a huge meal two hours earlier. And now I see that maybe I just don't get enough fat. With these delicious smoothie recipes many of the recipes call for a spoon of coconut oil, or coconut milk, from the can (quite fattening), or peanut butter. All of which I normally don't eat.... up until now. But now I feel full for MUCH longer than is typical for me, which is great.
A majority of the time, now the fruits and vegetables are raw because they are frozen. Because I can feel the difference, I realize that my nutrient intake is much higher than normal because I'm predominantly eating raw.
Just feeling great in general! More to come!
Does this question apply to you? Do you sometimes, or maybe even often feel drained and you don't understand why. Most likely you are an empath like me, and you absorb people's energy. So then the real question is:
How Do I Stop Absorbing People's Energy?
This was a questions I had about 6 months ago, and just realized that I've figured it out, and found a solution that works for me (a combination of one to all a day depending on how I feel), and want to share it with you!
1. Meditate -
Make it a point to meditate at least once during the day, maybe two or three times a day. You can meditate from three hours, to just 5 minutes. Its the easiest and cheapest energy boosting thing that you can do! And you can meditate anywhere. There are hundreds of approaches to meditating, from sitting in silence with a still mind, to following the bouncy thoughts that seem to become louder as we become quiet. You can also look up guided meditations on youtube. Because there is such an endless abundance of styles, and guided meditations, try a new one out from youtube every day for a week and find the one that feels the best to you. The point is feeling good, so if it feels good follow that.
2. Drink Water -
Being dehydrated is the number one reason for feeling physical fatigue. A while ago I decided to try drinking water for a consecutive 5 minutes. I'd set my timer and focus on drinking water the entire time. My stomach would get really full, but I felt so much better the rest of the day, and noticed that my sleeping also improved. Now I drink a full glass of water first thing in the morning, before I get in the shower (sometimes those are the same thing, so then I'd only drink one glass), and I bring a large water bottle with me everywhere I go, and when I am going somewhere that I know will have a bathroom, like home, a friends house, a restaurant... I'll try to finish the bottle of water before I get there, and refill it, and repeat this the entire day. When I am good about it I see a very noticeable difference in my energy levels.
3. Read -
Cary a book with you, and read when ever you can. You can read anytime you are waiting in line, or waiting to pick up your kids... Or make it a point to sit and read for at least 10 minutes during the day. Read a book you enjoy that makes you laugh, feel happy, or optimistic.
4. Realize that we are all on our own path -
As an empath I know that it is very natural to notice when someone is not doing well, or even just able to see that they could be doing better - AND then feel like it is our responsibility to "help" them. But its not. Its not our responsibility to help them, and it may actually mess up their path, or what ever lesson they are meant to learn by their hardship. Who knows, they may not every think what they are going through is a hardship! This is not to say to be mean and ignore people or let them suffer, but just realize its not your responsibility. I know us empaths, have a tenancy to take on people's problems and make it our own, but that does not actually help anybody. Leading to the next one...
5. Focus on filling up your own cup -
This was quite an abstract idea for me. But do things that make yourself feel good. Make your home beautiful, eat a delicious meal, get a massage, do a yoga class, dress nice, take a nap, watch a movie.... What ever makes you feel good is what needs to happen more often during your day. This does not have to cost money, its just a shift in where you place your effort. If this sounds like too big of an idea just make it a point to do something that makes you happy or maybe even just releases stress 5 minutes a day. Gradually increase it, you will see your life change :)
6. Realize that everything revolves around love -
Everything we do, the choices we make are in relationship to love. Weather or not we think we deserve love. How successful we want to be is in relationship to love, either we think we have to be successful to get love, keep love, or protect our selves from getting hurt. Some of us are successful because we love what we do. Which is ideal, but then that is saying that we deserve to be happy and are deserving to love our lives. Some of us might not want "success" because we think we will loose love. So when you interact with a jerk, remember that they are just acting out their anger, that they don't deserve love, on you. Please don't talk about this to random people, especially the "angry" type of people, they are likely to react harshly. But do pay attention and observe. Notice your self, and the choices you've made over the years. Did you choose a certain degree because your parents would be proud of you? Its an abstract idea but I do believe that noticing things in this light helps me to not take things personally and make other people's problems my own. Now I feel more compassion for others, rather than being annoyed at them for having bad energy.
7. Yoga -
Exercise in general is great. Personally I think its fun, but there have been many studies that say exercise boosts our energy levels. But yoga in particular I find to be very grounding (centering) and thus feeling more energized. Again like most of the ideas above you can do yoga for as little as 5 minutes and feel the benefits, or you could take a yoga class. Personally I absolutely love hot yoga (Bikram) but if you don't have the time a yoga class may not suit you for that day. But youtube (my favorite!) has hundreds of yoga videos to choose from. If you want to look at my favorites check out the "wellness" category on the right hand side of this web page.
Just a side note, if you have not done hot yoga before, please tell the instructor before taking the class, you can even call the studio and ask for suggestions before signing up, and make sure to drink LOTS of water, I normally drink 2-4 liters of water, before, during & after. At least one liter before the class always. It is a tough class, but I absolutely love how I feel afterwards.
I hope one or all of these help you feel more energized! I realized that in noticing my own progress, I was looking for a one time solution, but that doesn't exist for this. It will always be a work in progress.
Sending you love!
Hello, Parents, Guardians, and Care Takers!
I know how frustrating the battle of trying to get your child to clean up their room can be. Depending on how resistant the child may be you may have to break it down even more. But I'd like to share what has worked for me.
Some awesome tools anytime a child is resistant (or even for yourself) to anything is to set a timer. Lets say your child's room is a disaster, the bed is not made, you didn't even know they had this much toys and you can barely see the floor underneath, and that pile of clothes, well you are really not sure, but you're betting its dirty. And you try so hard to get them to put dirty clothes in the hamper!?!
Depending on the age, how messy their room is, and their resistance, using a timer is a fantastic tool. If they are super resistant, it may be a good idea to help them. If you do help them, I'd make it a "race" to see who can pick up the most things, or let them be the "boss" and let them tell you what they want help with. DO NOT do anything on your own or for them, this will just teach them that if they act helpless, or act out enough that they don't really have to do it.
If you really have no idea how long it might take, or not clear on their resistance level, I'd start at 10 minutes for ages 6-8, younger, 5 minutes, and older I'd start with 20 minutes. Put the timer somewhere that they can see it count down, and then set a goal. For example "Lets see if we can get this floor 100% clean before the timer goes off!"
Then when the timer goes off or you get the floor clean celebrate, give them a high five, let them pick a fun game to play with you, or even take a picture of them showing off their clean room. The celebration part is important, you want them to recognize their own success, and be in that moment with them of feeling proud.
Then to truly improve their habits, each time they change activities make sure they clean up what they are now finished with, you can set a timer for 5 minutes, or just make sure they put it all away. Again this depends on how big the mess is and their resistance level. Or maybe at bed time, right before reading stories, now you/they spend 5 minutes tidying up their room. Just make it a new daily habit, however it works best for you.
I do this for myself too, right before getting ready for bed, I spend 10 minutes tidying up my home, however it may be, filing away some papers, finishing up something I was working on earlier in the day, finishing up dishes that I didn't have a chance to finish earlier... If I'm that on top of everything that day, I will spend those 10 minutes doing something to prepare myself for the next day.
Make this a consistent habit, and you will see an improvement; There will be less struggles, and more happiness and hugs!
With love, Jessica
Today I'd like to thank Charlie, a 13 year old boy, who's excitement to be a pilot just could not be contained. If any emotion could be jumping out of a person's body, excitement was jumping out of Charlie today. I loved it, thank you! So here is a note to Charlie:
You are going to be awesome, I cannot wait for you to be living your dreams! And in addition to that, anything else that you want is 100% possible too, the sky is the limit. And anybody that tells you it isn't possible, just doesn't know, or doesn't believe in their own dreams, so don't listen to them. Thank you, for being you, thank you for being on my flight, and sharing your enthusiasm and excitement with me! You know most pilots knew they wanted to be pilots at a very young age just like yourself. And some of them even started working as a pilot before age 20, so go for it. Its all out there waiting for you, and if you come across a fork in the road, or something you don't know or understand yet, I hope you remember that just because you don't know doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is always a solution, there is always a way. Thought I doubt that you'll run into many detours.
Wishing you all the best,
To everybody else, I hope that there is something in your life that makes you as excited as a 13 year old looking at their dreams, and knowing its their future, and so excited, you wish you were there already. If not, I dare you to try something, anything different today. That is the single best way I know to shake things up and bring on a new perspective, or make us more open to new possible dreams. For me its inspiring others, especially kids, and helping them find their way to their dreams.
Love to all
You know when you're just having a kind of rough or sluggish day? Or maybe you are stressed out because you have way too much on your plate, and can't get the thought "how am I going to get all of this done today?!?"
Yesterday was kind of a sluggish day for me, I had a lot to do, but I had such a hard time peeling myself up and getting myself to do anything. I was feeling very unproductive and it was frustrating me. I acknowledged my frustration, and decided to apply my own philosophy. Just 20 minutes at a time to my day.
I set my alarm for 20 minute intervals, and decided what I would do for the next 20 minutes. Each block of 20 minutes I'd do something physically different to the last 20 minutes. So for example I would deal with something from work that really needed to get done on the computer for 20 minutes, then I exercised for 20 minutes (I love revfit on youtue), then I took care of something else on the computer, then I cleaned my apartment.... And voila, I am feeling productive, more energized, and I actually took care of some things that were really stressing me out.
Doing things at 20 minute intervals started in high school. I had a really hard time focusing when it came to studying, and I learned that if I set the timer for a short interval, and I knew it would end soon, I was able to focus. This has also worked very well for kids when I used to nanny and would do homework, personally I think for younger kids 10 minutes is a good interval. Its long enough to get something done, but its a short enough amount of time that they understand and know will not "take forever."
The added bonus of doing things in 20 minute intervals, is that because I know it will end soon, there is a competitive side of me that comes out, and wants to see how much I can get done. So in essence, I end up working faster :)
On days that I am feeling sad, I'll alternate the things I do with emotional value. So for example, I'll curl up in my bed or read, then I'll do something "I need to do," then I'll color, then back to something "I need to do" and so on. This often helps me to feel better, because I removed things that were stressing me out from my "list", but I also allowed myself to just be in whatever mood I was in, which is very healing.
I hope this idea brings some ease into your life. I'd love to hear how treating the day with one 20 minute interval at a time works for you!
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!