Thoughts, Tips, Ideas and Tricks to live your best life
Greetings Summer friends,
I apologize I have been gone for a while. Anyway, I hope everyone has been enjoying their summer. Personally when summer comes around, I try to spend as much time as possible outside. Enjoying the outdoors, and the heat is what makes summer for me, a day in a dress or a bikini means I had a good day :) What makes it a good summer for you?
So this month my goal has been to have no goals. No agenda, just let go on priorities, and accomplishments. This was a surprisingly hard "goal" for me to accept, and to my surprise has been super liberating! In having "no goal" for the month, I have actually accomplished a lot more, and enjoyed more life, like friends, my home, being alone, reading.... And when I am hanging out with friends I noticed that I am more present. And the biggest thing of all I just have more energy in general. I was telling my coach, Rebecca, that I felt very sluggish and weighed down. I didn't know what to do, she suggested giving up on goals for a month. I was so resistant. That sounded backwards to me. How will I accomplish anything if I have no goals??? As it turns out, it was the opposite.
In this process of "giving up on goals" I learned quite a bit about myself. I realized that I was judging myself for what I did or didn't accomplish. I realized (again) that I have been brushing over my wins, or accomplishments, and rushing on to the next thing. In a sense stealing my own wind. It has also helped to anchor in that life is just a forever work in progress, so its ok to let go of the "finish line", because when I get there I will create a new one. While goals are important, its equally important to celebrate every win, no matter how tiny. This is something I am working on too. Here's to celebrating bigger and loosening up on goals!
Would giving up on goals for one month shake things up a bit for you? I would have said no, until I tried it. Please continue to pay all your bills, and take care of the essentials; but I encourage you to let go of goals for one month, and just watch what happens!
Important things to note:
What do you find yourself doing most often?
What feelings do you notice popping up?
And after one month has passed what did you end up accomplishing?
After this month is over, take these questions and use what you noticed to make tiny modifications in your life, you'll enjoy a more satisfying life! And that is the point, personal satisfaction, since we are forever works in progress.
With love, Jessica
Today's article is inspired by the book I'm currently reading "YOU Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero and a little conversation I had while flying. On page 238 Jen Sincero is talking about setting honest goals. This is something I already do, and what this blog is all about (feeling proud of myself, tehehe). BUT this book has got me thinking "How can I make my life absolutely amazing? What can I do in my life to literally spring out of bed?" I know these questions are a forever work in progress... BUT I asked the girls I'm working with, "what is something that you could do everyday that would make your life better?" You never know, they may give me some great ideas or insight :) One girl said she could purge something from her house every day. I agreed, I can also do that, and I imagine it would make my life better as well. The other girl said she could laugh more everyday. I don't know why, but I grabbed her and started fake laughing, hahaha, it was only a matter of seconds before we both started really laughing. Both of these girls did give me insight and ideas! I too, could also use a little more laughter in my life, even if its fake laughing, and tossing something each day that no longer serves me would leave me physically lighter, ready for whatever new thing may serve me better, even if that just means more space :) and less to clean!
So what is something that you can do every day that would make your life better?
I would really love to hear from you! You can send me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or comment below!
Have you ever felt a certain way and wished you didn't? Or better yet, was feeling fine, then out of the blue had an emotion just consume you? I know I have plenty of times. 9 times out of 10 its anxiety. It comes up out of "nowhere" and I almost always feel desperate to get out of that emotion. With a suggestion from my coach, Rebecca, she brought up the approach of having a dialogue with "Anxiety." I do this quite often with other emotions, but for whatever reason it never occurred to me to do this with Anxiety. My realization was pivotal for me, and so I want to share it with you.
This technique is simple. You sit down, pen and paper, or computer, and write to you emotion as if it were another person (personifying it), asking it questions, and being open to what it has to tell you.
So.... Here is my conversation with Anxiety:
Hello Anxiety, hello relationship beliefs. This is a safe space for you to come up. I am sorry I have always pushed you down. It was so painful, and I thought that was a bad thing. My beliefs about pain are changing. I am committed to connecting with you, to allow you to show or tell me what you have to say. You are an aspect of me, and so you are important.
When I meditate about the relationship that I want. I can envision it for a little while, but then when I get to things being intimate, Anxiety takes over. It creeps up, but then is all consuming and it all happens very quickly. Anxiety, when I come close to intimacy what do you want to tell me? Intimacy is bad, because when you get there, you are no longer in control and if/when he leaves he takes your life too. When a relationship ends I also feel like I have died. I am here to protect you. What if I found a relationship that didn’t end? That is not true all things end. What if things transformed rather than ended? That is ok. Alright. So then is it ok for things that transform to also be painful? Yes, that is ok. Ok, so then since we are all always transforming, when the relationship didn’t work out how I thought it was going to work out, I transformed. That is ok. You are still an important emotion but I don’t want to be paralyzed by you anymore. I will listen to you when you come up. I trust that you will always guide me to my highest good, to whatever my heart truly desires. Ok, I appreciate that.
This feels nice, I now see my anxiety as a good thing rather than a bad thing. My anxiety is showing me something that I am afraid of, something to avoid, something in the present that is similar to something in the past that I do not want.
What a turning point for me! I'm sharing this in hopes that this inspires you to connect rather than push down or run away from emotions that most of us typically don't like. If we can learn to see all of our emotions as important, then the pain we experience will be less. Personally, I feel a pretty big weight lifted off, and I wish the same for you.
Hello Shoot for the stars goal setters, "I'll never get there types" and everyone in between;
What are your goals right now? Comment or post below!
And what is your reward for achieving that goal? You might say, the reward is that I won't have that debt anymore. Or It's so far away, why do I need a reward; Rewards are childish, I'm an adult. Or maybe even, it'll never happens, so what's the point?
All of these examples are typical and reasonable responses when I ask my friends and family about their goals, and then the reward... For some reasons its easy for people to say their goals, most of the times its obvious, like wanting to pay off all of your debt. But then when I ask about the reward. I have to painstakingly extract it out of them.
Personally I've always loved setting goals, but never gave much thought to a reward, or that I should or even deserved a reward. After just achieving a GIANT financial goal, I can tell you a reward is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. It was Frank Bettger's book, "How I Raised myself from Failure to Success in Selling" that introduced the concept of having a reward when achieving your goals. I decided to try the concept on, while I was saying "Paying off the debt I owed my mom would be more than enough" I decided that my reward would be a head to toe brand new outfit of the season, not to exceed $1,000. So I saved, along with paying off my mom. This goal seemed so far away I didn't think I'd be able to do it anytime soon. But I remembered in the book, he says the reward is almost more important than the goal. So I kept saving, and didn't touch than money. I kept chipping away and the debt, sometimes only $5 at a time.
From when I decided to get serious about paying off the debt, it took less than a year. I though for sure, it would take much longer than that, I was thinking two or three years. I just couldn't see the end in sight, and sometimes I got tired of being so tight with my finances. But I never gave it. I paid a minimum of 1% of every paycheck as additional payment towards what I owed, and continued with all of my normal bills and savings. And then the day came! May 1, 2017. I was doing my monthly financial stats, and I realized I had the money. I froze, I agonized, I went back and forth. Then I paid off the last $2,000 from my savings (this is a large amount for me), and then I sat in awe and shock with a perma-grin approaching midnight for about 20 minutes. HOLLY $Cow$!!! I did it, it seemed so far away, I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I am shopping for my head to toe outfit. And it feels amazing, each time I walk into a store, I breath in my accomplishment, and relish in that feeling of deserving, that I deserve to shop and find my perfect outfit, I deserve to be in these beautiful stores, that I used to never enter. I know it sounds trivial, but I have to agree with Mr. Bettger, the reward is just as important as the goal. Because its living in that space of "deserving." Deserving is a weird concept for most of us. We were trained to do what we "should" do. We are trained not to indulge; and while excessive indulging can get in the way of what you truly want, I think that we as a society have taken this questioning our deserving a little too far - often we feel shame, or bad about enjoying. Deserving doesn't mean taking, but it does mean to relish in the love, freedom, abundance, or goodness that you want. Further more the reward anchors in your accomplishment. I can see within myself I am now ready and more excited to take on bigger goals. I have more faith in myself. And now when I set rewards for my goals, even if they are small, I noticed that I work faster.
So what are your goals? Go ahead make it big. Make it so big you don't even understand how it will happen :)
And then... Pick your reward :) Make it a BIG REWARD.
And then one reward at a time your life is transformed,
Much love <3
Hello Vegan Gluten Free Enthusiasts!
I'd like to share a super easy and healthy meal to cook in about 20 minutes.
All you need is
Mushrooms, Broccolini, Leeks, & Garlic (because I can't eat without garlic!)
The quantity depends on how many people will eat and how much each one eats, personally I always have to cook for two because I eat that much!
For cooking rice, I cook it the Brazilian way, so I add the quantity of rice, garlic and olive oil fry it a little then add the water. When cooking rice always add double the amount of water to rice. So for example one cup of rice, two cups of water. Once you've added the water, as soon as it boils, turn down the heat to a low simmer (for those of you that have an electric stove, about a "2" is good). When there is no more water, but the rice isn't burnt yet, its ready. And don't worry if you burn the pan, for my first ten years of cooking I would burn the rice every time. To clean it, you just let the pan soak.
Delicious Alternative: For the rice, I used half water, and half vegetable broth & white wine. Try it :)
Then I cooked the mushrooms and garlic in a pan first (these two take a bit longer to cook, and not as delicious on the raw side)... A minute or two before the rice was ready I added the chopped up broccolini and leeks. I like my veges on the crunchy side, so really I'm just heating them up. Season to taste. Since I already had an Italian theme going I used the "Everyday Seasoning" from Trader Joe's.
Bonus: this meal should cost under $5.
Hello incredible human beings!
Could you imagine what your life would be like if you were the healthiest, most vibrant, full of life version of yourself everyday?
Have you ever stopped to think about how incredible your body is? The human body is a magical work of design. Our body takes care of all these things and we don't even have to think about how it works! It regenerates, it fights diseases to make us better, it has cravings to get you the right nutrients, it eliminates toxins in a variety of ways. Our human bodies are truly incredible eco systems!
Today I am organizing my files - which I use binders to keep all of my papers organized. I just finished organizing the "Health" binder, and felt inspired to write this article. As you know I'm pretty keen on manifesting, so I wrote about health and what I want for my health. I'll write about what I want for each binder/subject, but I wanted to share my health vision with you, as I'm sure many people want the same.
I am healthy, I am full of energy!
I am healthy, I am vibrant!
I am healthy, I continuously expand my physical and mental capacity.
I am blissed out! Happiness is my norm.
I am continuously growing younger; regenerating into a better version of myself each day.
I completely and utterly love myself.
I am healthy, I enjoy all of my physical capabilities.
I am healthy, I am the example of what life is.
I am healthy! I am life!
Have you ever felt ready for the next step?.... BUT you had no idea what it was? Or maybe you knew where you wanted to go with your life, but you didn't know how to get there?
A coach can be the perfect solution. Of course you'll need to find the right coach for you. You'll have to get clear on what exactly you want. Do you want a fitness coach? Health coach? Life coach? Business coach? Or maybe a relationship coach? Often coaches are multi-faceted, so it will just take a little bit of interviewing to find the right fit for you.
You might ask, why should I pay so much money to hire someone to tell me what to do? Well, a coach can see things and solutions that you have been overlooking, or didn't even understand. And being held accountable is a wonderful thing. Once you start paying money, that will kick your behind into gear to start taking action, otherwise you are throwing your money away.
I am very fortunate to have a coach, her name is Rebecca. Since I have been working with Rebecca she has helped me to overcome some blocks that I didn't realize I had, more happiness, increase income, achieving some long standing goals... She has helped me with so much! I'm so grateful, my life and business has improved a lot since I have been working with her. Not to mention, my income has increased to accommodate the cost. Of course your experience will be different to mine, but hiring a coach is very worth it. Sometimes a knowledgeable hand is all you need to catapult you into the life of your dreams, and that's exactly what a coach does.
If you'd like to interview Rebecca, check her out at
Otherwise there are hundreds of different coaches out there, one is perfect for you to catapult you into your dream life.
See you there!
I have been looking through my articles, and I noticed that one article is upbeat, and then next is not as upbeat. This is not on purpose. My wish is for all of my articles to be uplifting, inspiring or spark some new idea in you!
But in some of the articles I realize that my inspirational intent is not so obvious. The articles that I have shared that are on the not as upbeat or even sad side, I share them to be vulnerable, something that is very hard for me, and hope that I give you courage to face your own beliefs, limitations or sadness/any feeling that is difficult to be present with. We all have stuff we would rather not have.
Its ok that its there and its ok that you may wish it wasn't.
Weather you tell anyone or not, is not the point. Just in facing yourself is already very courageous, and I promise if you are consistent with personal growth, meditation, and/or being present with your self things in your life will shift for the better. I am amazed at the things that are unfolding in my own life, and there is so MUCH more!!!
Also I have noticed that I have a natural pendulum swing in my emotions, and energy level too. Most likely you are the same. So these articles are representative of where I'm at that day, some days amazing, and some days not amazing. In addition the natural pendulum swing, I feel that as things get better, I discover new beliefs (taking me back) but also that I am able to handle going deeper into my emotions. So as I become happier, I am able to dive deeper into those darker emotions that I have suppressed. Thus making my pendulum swing greater.
For this reason, some articles are darker and some more fun.
This article is in response to Teal's video. As many of her videos do, this one struck home. And one of the steps is to admit to someone else what you want. As I type this I can feel a lot of anxiety building up in me. So watch the video and I'll continue below.
What do I truly want? To have kids, to be happily married. To be valued, important, and taken care of. Even just typing this, it hurts a lot to admit. Now I see why guys would paint me as the perfect wife that other guys would want to marry. This was always an insult to me. Because the same guys that would say this to me, were the ones I usually wanted to date, and they were absolutely not looking for that kind of girl. I didn't see it back then. I wish I did. But pretty much every family I knew had divorced parents. And in my case, my mom was super woman, and my dad, I love him, but he never took any responsibility for anything. He even sued my mom so that he didn't have to pay child support. So as you can imagine, my mom raised me to be very independent. If I ever admitted to her that what I really wanted was to be married and have kids, at the very least I would get a very disapproving reaction. So I guess those guys were right, I do want to be that perfect wife. I love cooking, and I love making my house pretty, and I love being around and raising lots of kids. I do want a strong man that will take care of me. It hurts to realize that I have been fighting this up to now. I have been trying to prove everyone wrong, by working hard, and being independent, and having a strong front, while desperately wishing I wasn't lonely.
Of course we all want different things, so I urge you to watch this video, and look inside yourself to see what you truly want. Right now I don't know exactly what to do to get what I want, and in a way change gears, but that path will evolve. At the very least I feel better, admitting it to the internet that what I truly want is to be happily married with kids. To be a team with my husband, and also to be cherished and taken care of. Someday I'll admit it to my mom too, that I want to be the opposite of what she raised me to be.
With love and courage, Jessica
I know each one of our paths is different. Its wonderful that we are all at different places experiencing different things. Today was a success for me. In a lot of ways. My outside physical world is a reflection of my internal successes today. And my Aunt and Uncle are a giant part of making it happen. I don't know that I will be able to convey how grateful, proud, and happy I am here, but I'm going to try!
Today I went to Ikea with my Aunt and Uncle. This Uncle is a very good man, and a role model for me. This Aunt is also a second mom. I am so blessed to have many second moms <3. I just moved into a new apartment, and am looking for space maximization! So they drove 40 minutes to meet me at Ikea, helped me buy the bed, and then came back to my home & built the bed. Which I didn't ask them to do... I hadn't thought this part out, I just figured I would figure it out... I'm SO GRATEFUL they built the bed for me, I helped when I could. Now I have my dream apartment, with this amazing luxuriously soft rug, and my perfect bed.
Surprisingly to me, I have picked what I used to deem very girly colors. I have light pink sheets, with a silverish rug. Its beautiful! I feel like a princess (heart so happy I'm crying). I've read several books lately, and have been doing a lot of internal work. Some of the stuff has been confronting what femininity means to me, and going into that. Until a month ago, I had no idea I really dis-identified with being feminine, and it was actually a bad thing in my eyes. Then I read the book "Pussy" by Regena Thomas-Hauer, and am connecting to my inner GPS, and I am really surprised by what is coming out. Like me picking super girly things, and identifying with feeling like a princess, and liking it. I am moving into my true heart space. Its a place I have always wanted to be. It feels like love all the time :) I'm getting teary eyed as I type this. Because I am so grateful to be here, and because I'm sad that I didn't understand what this was until now. I have all these wonderful things and I actually believe that I deserve it. This is such a giant accomplishment for me, and I need to celebrate with you. This bed is like a trophy of the emotional confronting marathon that I have been "running" for the past three years. And now I am experiencing they pay-off.
Whatever you have going on in your life, if you are doing and feeling great, awesome! Keep celebrating, keep it up! If you are having a hard time, please keep tuning into your heart, keep doing the things that make you feel happier or better, keep meditating, doing yoga, facing yourself, and keep doing affirmations. And yes, please celebrate all of your successes, no matter how tiny. Each time you celebrate your success, you open the door for more celebration within yourself, and those around you. I know that might be hard for some of you to understand, but its true, so just believe me until you start to see it for yourself.
I want this love for everyone. And its 100% possible.
I'm very passionate about a lot of things, often trying to incorporate all of it into my life!