Trust 2017

Trust the Universe. Trust Me.  The right client, man, & situations will find me.  What does trust mean to you?

I'd like to explore what trust means to me here to share with you.  Trust has always been a challenge for me.  And yet that is what I keep hearing I need to do, my higher self keeps yelling TRUST whenever I close my eyes and ask what to do.  I don't know why this is so scary.  It feels like I am closing my eyes and letting go of the rope to fall.  Even just attempting to write about it right now is causing some anxiety.  My lack of trust has often been an annoyance to friends and boyfriends. 

I know why its so scary now.  Things have a very funny way of working out.  This is a new paragraph because I just got off the phone with a guy I really like.  I am doing my best to be vulnerable, and be present with my feelings.  During a meditation today the reoccurring theme of feeling left and not understanding why, came up.  During my parents divorce my Dad disappeared, well in the eyes of a little kid.  I had no idea why, or what I did.  This fear/felling has come up with every single guy I have ever dated, and most friends and family too.  The second I realize I like a guy, bam this fear is loud and clear and I become debilitatingly insecure.  But just a minute ago I did something I have never done (so scary), I told him.  I told him about my fear, and what happened as a kid, and how its showing up now relating to him.  And, to my surprise he was happy that I told him, and thanked me.  The conversation went well.  I am still in shock a little.  This is so much relief.  

SO now (after a 20 minute conversation break) I am aware of why "TRUST" has always been so difficult.  This conversation has never gone well, it has always been the death of any type of relationship, and just fueled my fear.  Now with a sigh of relief, I just experienced trust.  I guess just like anything else it just takes baby steps, and I will be open to experiencing more ways to trust.  I will practice trust in all ways that I can.  Right now, in this moment, I do see that I truly can trust the universe to bring me what I need next for my expansion.

Is trust a challenge for you too?  Or maybe its something else? What can you do to open yourself to experience a new version of a story that used to re-play in your past? Trust me (hahaha), we as a society always say this in such a light hearted way, the next step will come.  
You can try by asking a question.  

What could happen today that would make me feel better?
Is there a different way that I have not thought of?
What could happen today that would bring a new perspective to me?
What can I do right now in this moment that will make me feel better?  - But then you have to do it.

I will come back to this article to report my progress on trusting, the universe, friends, family, guys...  But I am excited to see where my life can take me with TRUST.

Love Jessica